fancy sandwich dominoes
Prep
Total
Yield 12 sandwiches
I'm going to level with you: this is an absolute faff. They suggest making a batch of these ahead of time to 'spoil your guests' but given the state of my kitchen after I'd made them, chucked the first batch out, made another batch and waited diligently to carve them up, I'd be in no mood to receive guests. In fact, at this point, I'd be asking people to leave and then crying into whatever pint of hard liquor I could find.
So, to that end, although I'm going to show you how to make them, I suggest if you don't want to fart about making them so frou-frou, the individual fillings would do very well served on a Ryvita or similar. This made enough for twelve dominoes so I'm saying three each as finger food. Haha, finger.
Final thing - it's bloody hard to take a photo of these because of the boring colours. In the book, they seem to suggest serving them with a garden trowel of paprika close to hand. Presumably that's so you can hurl the powder into someone's face when you need to shut them up. But who'd do such a thing?
Calorie counts are approximate. Depends on your bread, what cheese you use and whether or not the chicken that laid the eggs was a heavy smoker.
Oh! And you'll note that they look a little frozen in the picture. I'll explain that in the recipe.
Ingredients
- five slices of rye bread - we use Schneider Brot (Gesundheit!) from Tesco but I know for an absolute fact that Lidl and Aldi do an equivalent - but if you're stuck, use any heavy bread
- two hard boiled eggs
- 300g of Philadelphia Lightest
- 1/2 tsp of salt
- pinch of black pepper (they use white pepper, but who does that, honestly, might as well not bother)
- one teaspoon of strong mustard, though I'm not sure how you measure the strength of mustard: presumably if your teaspoon comes out of the jar looking like Uri Geller's been having dark thoughts then that'll do)
- they recommend a pinch of saffron but these are austere times, feel free to choose heating your house over this step
- one teaspoon of tomato puree
- pinch of paprika
- few drops of lemon juice
- one teaspoon of dried mixed herbs, or a tablespoon if you're chopping it out nice and fresh
Instructions
- peel your eggs and discard the whites by eating them before anyone else gets a chance
- beat your cream cheese with a pinch of salt until it's nice and fluffy then divide into four bowls
- in the first, add the pepper and mustard and mix
- in the second, add the egg yolk and beat into the cheese
- in the third, add the tomato puree and paprika
- in the fourth, mix the lemon juice and herbs in with a pinch of salt
- on the fifth, let the waters abound with an abundance of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the face of the firmament of the heavens
- in the fourth, mix the lemon juice and herbs in with a pinch of salt
- in the third, add the tomato puree and paprika
- in the second, add the egg yolk and beat into the cheese
- in the first, add the pepper and mustard and mix
- alright calm yourself down
- spread the cheese mixes across four slices of bread and stack them ever so neatly on top of one another, then pop the final slice on top of the stack
Now, this is important: whoever came up with this recipe clearly had access to a laser cutter because they suggest slicing it up straight away. Do not do that: it'll ooze out the sides like well, something that isn't nice to talk about. Instead, wrap the whole brick firmly in tin foil and pop in the freezer for about an hour. Once lightly frozen, take it out and with a sharp knife, slice into dominoes. Arrange on a plate and be ready for people to gasp in admiration at your astonishing skills.
Or, make the fillings and whack them on a slice of bloody toast like a normal person.
DO NOT DO what I did and stick it in the freezer for seven hours because you meant to put it on for an hour, but Paul was at work and the sunlight on your face was making you frisky so you took yourself off for some alone time and fell asleep.
Mmmhmm.
Notes
Recipe
- if you do end up freezing it to the point where you could use it as a murder weapon, let it defrost naturally - if you do what we did and microwave it, you'll regret it
Books
- despite this blog post, we're actually excellent cooks these days and you can see the fruits of our labour in our wonderful second cookbook, which is full of delicious recipes and lots of nonsense: order yours here!
- mind, book one was talking, and book one was talking first - 100+ slimming recipes that'll really make your bull run: click here to order
- want to keep track of how you're doing and marvel at cartoon versions of us - try our weight loss planner: here
Tools
- nothing to say other than you'll need a good sharp knife - I asked Paul what he uses to sharpen the knives he plunges into my back every night and he recommends this very simple knife steel - I'm just shocked he doesn't just buy new ones when the old knives get dull, given that's what he does with his clothes
Disclosure: the links above are affiliate links. This means that, at zero cost to you, we will earn an affiliate commission if you click through the link and make a purchase. Which is handy, as Sola's just been done for GBH and aggravated assault and we have to pay to get her out of the country before the rozzers get her.
Courses retro, sandwiches
Cuisine mystery
Recipe by twochubbycubs at https://twochubbycubs.com/2022/01/27/sandwich-dominoes/