Slimming World FAQ

Here for the Slimming World FAQ? Read on!

I notice that, on various Slimming World sites, the same type of questions tend to get asked. Well – because we’re the gift that keeps on giving, we’re building an FAQ for all you new starters who may have questions that you’re too shy to ask about. We’re going to keep building this up until it’s a nice, comprehensive document but don’t worry, it’s still full of snark and cheek. If you have a question suggestion, please leave it in the comments.

Hope this helps!

Slimming World FAQ


What are the basics?

You need to understand that I’m not a consultant and all of this is based on my own experience with Slimming World. You should consult your book, ring a class, check online if you have any queries or questions. I’m not your keeper!

So – most of your food will come from what they optimistically call ‘Free Foods’. You can eat as much of this stuff as your little tummy will hold – though stop when you feel full. There’s no weighing or measuring with this, just eat eat eat. Common sense applies – a potato is free, that family pack of Walkers Sensations that you’ve already ate in the back of your car isn’t.

Then, choose a Healthy Extra A and a Healthy Extra B. These are measured ‘extras’ that you should have during the day – to put it bluntly, your Healthy Extra B (fibre) will make sure you’re going for a shit whereas the Healthy Extra A ensures the bones in your ankles won’t snap on the way.

Finally, you get to use your syns. Syns, on top of being a spelling pedant’s worst nightmare, are Slimming World’s way of keeping you in control whilst still obliging your fatty-boom-boom tendencies. Any food that isn’t free or part of your Healthy Extra will have a syn value, and as a general rule, you’re encouraged to spend between 5 and 15 a day. So if you fancy a bar of chocolate, you can have one (a Kitkat Chunky is 12.5 syns, so you could have one a day!) and if you’re heading for a night out, you can still drink. Thank Christ eh, imagine meeting your friends whilst sober.


Finally, you’re supposed to make sure a third of your meal is made up from speed foods. We’re talking most vegetables (most, but check your books) and fruit, so put some berries in your yoghurt or serve your evening meal with a lovely salad.


Confession time: I don’t always bother with this, and I haven’t burst into flame just yet. I get the odd drunken phone call from an ex-consultant telling me that because I failed to stick 100% to plan she’d had to remortgage the house and sell her children into slavery, but well, tough tit.

Easy to make two mistakes – like this:



What then is a S Food? Or a P Food? And F? And C?

Slimming World like letters of the alphabet, that’s for sure. Some free food have these various labels added on to denote they’re:

(S) Speedy food (they’ll fill you up with far fewer calories)

(P) Protein-rich (they’ll keep you fuller for longer)

(F) Fibre-full (they’ll keep things moving)

(C) Calcium-rich (they’ll stop you having teeth like a row of condemned houses)

What’s happened to Red and Green?

Well, can you hear me back there in the DISTANT PAST? Shall I call you on your Nokia 3310 after Series 1 of Big Brother? EH? Red and green days were the old ways, grandma – mainly meat on a red day, mainly carbs and veg on a green day. I lost seven stone this way but when I came back to Slimming World, with both sets of cheeks burning (one through embarrassment at putting the weight on and the other through general chaffing), everything had changed. It had gone to Extra Easy – one unified plan. It then changed slightly again with the introduction with Extra Easy: SP. But that nonsense is for another entry.

Slimming World FAQ


Am I too fat or too skinny for Slimming World?

No. You want to lose weight, so does everyone else in the room. I’ve never been to a class where I’ve felt any attitude towards skinny or fat people. You’ll not be the fattest one there, and even if you are, who cares? You’re making a positive change for yourself and you should be happy about that. If anyone makes a snide comment, fuck ’em. Just don’t bloody eat them.

What happens in a class from the moment I walk in to the moment I leave?

I don’t know – it varies. But here’s how mine goes. You arrive, pay your money and flash your Slimming World card like the world’s most boring FBI agent. You then stand in a queue and chat (if you’re social, or stand and read recipe cards / the books on the table / your phone if you’re antisocial) whilst waiting for your turn on the scales.

Oh – drop off that banana that you caught walking out of the kitchen of its own accord as a ‘prize’ for whichever unlucky sod gets the joy of finding a nearby bin to decant all that on-the-turn fruit into on the way home from class. Seriously, if you’re kind enough to bring fruit in for the Slimmer of the Week, good on you, but try and keep it fresh. I’ve won Slimmer of the Week before and been given what amounted to moonshine by the time I got the basket. Here’s a simple guide:


Next you’ll get on the scales, making apologies to no-one in particular about your ‘bad week’ or faint promises that you’ve been good like someone is going to appear from behind the curtain and gun you down if you’ve put a pound on. The machine will bleep and someone will record your weight in your book and give you a sticker if you have hit a milestone. You can then make yourself a coffee, have a natter (god I fucking hate that word but have a chat is even worse), buy some books, read some recipes. After everyone is weighed, the consultant will start the class. Generally, they’ll spend around ten to fifteen minutes talking about recipes, and then everyone will be asked how they have done and how they are feeling. Note below if you’re shy. This normally takes about an hour and your hands will look like corned beef from all the clapping. Honestly, you’ll feel like a seal.

It works like this:


I’m taking the piss a little – and don’t get me wrong, this bit can drag and/or be dull if you keep hearing ‘I’ve been good, I don’t know how I’ve put weight on, I only had a catering size sandwich platter and a gravy milkshake’ ten times over – but it can be inspiring and it’s always well meant. There will then be a raffle and a lucky dip, Slimmer of the Week will get a round of applause and a bowl of liquid banana, the person who put on the most weight will get a punch on the jaw from the consultant for messing up the statistics, then everyone flies out the door to be the first car out of the car-park and to ring the Chinese before it gets busy.

I’m shy, and don’t want to discuss my weight with the rest of the class – what can I do?

Tell your consultant – if you don’t want to be addressed in the class, then they’re supposed to respect that and not bring you into discussions. But there’s one key thing to stress – your actual weight will never be spoken aloud in the class unless you mention it. There’s no gigantic display on the scales like on The Biggest Loser, it’s not going to bark your weight out like a menstrual version of the machine from BIG.

Classes can be a bit dull sometimes – how can I spice them up?

Firstly, don’t be a dick about it – people are there to get encouragement and help and if you’re sitting there talking to your mate and making it hard for others to concentrate, then you’d a bad person and I hope a cat shits in your shoes. That said, they can drag. Paul and I like to play ‘last clap’ – where the challenge is to be the last person in the room to clap whenever someone loses a pound or two. Or, play ‘Not Clap’, which is where you make the clapping noise doing everything but clapping your hands – use your mouth, smack your lips, rub your knees together. Try to get an ABBA song into your conversation. My favourite trick is to start a round of applause where there may not necessarily need one – by the time the class has done 50 or so ‘WELL DONE YOU’VE LOST A POUND’ round of applauses, it becomes like Pavlov’s dog, completely reflex. So if someone announces they made a shepherds pie, rattle off a quick round of clapping and see if everyone else joins in. Well, it passes the time.

Is it worth sticking to class?

Yes, if you have a good class. If the consultant has the charisma and personality of a windswept bus-shelter then you’ll struggle to stay interested and give up. Find another class if this is the case. A good consultant, as all mine have been, will engage everyone, talk, swap recipes, keep things fresh. You’ll get a lot more from it this way. If not, you’re paying £5 to step in someone else’s sweaty footprints and be told your weight. I’ll provide this service for £4 a pop if you want to save money and I’ll even cast disdainful looks at your poor taste in socks whilst I’m doing it.

What happens when I hit target?

Margaret comes out from the cupboard where they store the spare chairs and the hymn books, hair all Dallas-like, massive cigar in her mouth, slaps you on the back and tells you in 20-Bensons voice that you’ve made it, kidda. Then it’s a free makeover in Bella magazine and slap-up Iceland ready-meals all round. Actually, sadly not – you get a certificate and free membership for life, as long as you don’t start going all spherical again.

Slimming World FAQ


I’m a Ten Tonne Tessie. Do I get extra syns?

This seems to vary. If you have to be wheeled into your class by a group of strong, muscular men, I’ve heard that you’re sometimes afforded extra syns. Makes sense, given you’ll need more calories just to keep your engine running, but check with your consultant.

Can you ‘save up’ your syns and blow them all in one day?

As many a spotty chav has huskily whispered in the ear of his girlfriend, it works better if you spread them. But – you’re allowed to be flexible, yes. If you know you’re going out on Saturday for pizza, allocate say 60 of your syns to that day and be mean and lean throughout the rest of the week, and enjoy it. But as a rule, you’re better off using the syns throughout the week with an average of 5-15 a day. Go nuts, just make sure you syn them.

Is it better to avoid using syns? Surely less treats going in means more weight coming off?

Perhaps, but most people find that if they use their syns, it feels less like a diet and more like a normal eating plan, which is exactly right. Think of it this way – would you prefer to lose the weight quickly and then to have it all pile back on like drowning rats on a floating door, or would you prefer to lose weight sensibly, enjoying the things you like, and for it to stay off once you hit target? Exactly.

What’s tweaking?

Put succinctly, it’s using an ingredient for a purpose other than the original use – so if you’re making a cake from cous-cous or building a deep-fat fryer from mashed banana, you’re shit out of luck. However, lets be sensible – if you mash a banana it is the same amount of bloody syns as a non-mashed banana in my eyes. Admittedly if you eat ten billion of them mashed up in a smoothie you’ll end up fat again, but a mashed banana versus an unmashed banana will have the same amount of everything in it. Remember: syns don’t float in the air waiting to strike. They’re either in the food or they’re not.

You can find an indepth guide to my opinion on tweaking right here.

Slimming World FAQ


What can I use Scan Bran for?

Scan-Bran is sold as a crispbread on the shop during Slimming World classes. You’d get more flavour and succulence ripping up a lino tile from the floor of a busy A&E department. That said, if the bottom of your feet look like a block of cheese that has been left out in the sun to dry, you could very easily use one of the Scan Bran slices to pumice your feet. Other uses include planing the top of a door to make it fit or acting as wall-lagging for particularly small houses. Don’t spend the money.

Are the Hi-Fi bars worth it?

Meh. They’re alright. Quite a frightening list of ingredients on the side, though – all that overly processed crap for one tiny bar no bigger than an index finger. You can buy decent Alpen bars for around the same price, but why not have an orange instead? Or suck on a Fisherman’s Friend (0.5 syns for two), if you can get someone to give you a lift down to the docks, you dirty hussy.

What about the magazine? Eh? And the books – you haven’t mentioned anything about the books?

I think both are worthwhile. The magazine is very feminine and focussed on women – which is fair enough, because it’s very much a female-dominated business. That said, the before and after stories are inspiring and there’s some decent recipes to be had. The books too are worth getting, with the recipes being tried and tested, although I find an awful lot of SW recipes out of the books come out a little watery. Just buy and adjust the recipes to suit.

Do YOU have a book?

Oh my, thanks for asking. Yes I do. But it isn’t about slimming, it’s about the month that Paul and I spent in Orlando for our honeymoon. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you might get even a bit moist at the thought of us strutting around in our ASDA swimming shorts, back-hair and heatrash on show. You can find it here for only a quid or so. If you buy it and love it, please review it!

And now, we DO have a book – a massive ebook which covers all of our articles (not recipes) in one place! Click here!

Can I get a prescription for Slimming World?

In some cases, yes. It seems to vary, but it’s worth checking with your GP to see if he’ll write you a prescription for twelve weeks. That’s a decent saving of around £70. Different partnerships and districts have different rules, so it may be that you’ve got to go to a council equivalent of Slimming World – if so, god help you. Worth asking though.

Is it worth buying a countdown?

Yes – it incentivises you to come back, especially if you’re a tight bugger like me. But wait – there’s nearly always an offer on for a free book when you buy a countdown – if there isn’t, wait a bit and one will come around. Might as well get a bit extra out of it.

Slimming World FAQ


I’ve heard that sweeteners are bad for me – should I resist? However will I make my half-syn roulade now?

This all boils down to personal taste. Personally, I think you’re better off using a bit of sugar and synning it rather than tipping a whole jar of Aldi Splendid into a cake. Not because I have any particular objection to the blend of chemicals, but just because it’s better to have a little of something decent rather than a lot of over-sweet shite. But that’s just me. For the record, there’s no evidence of sweeteners causing any harm other than in those who can’t process aspartame. But that’s super rare. So on you go.

Can I detox? My mate swears by a detox programme where she drinks nothing but horse piss and vinegar and she’s lost weight!

I’m not a scientist, not least because I’m too fat for a lovely white lab coat – I’d look like someone had parked a caravan in the corridor. Plus my interest in science extended to melting pens in the Bunsen burner and retching during the birth video we were made to watch during Sex Education week. Sex education in our school was a bust – all the boys were taken away and shown how to roll a condom onto a cucumber (no wonder men have such self-esteem problems when it comes to their cocks – to make it realistic they should have given out cucumbers, gherkins and those tiny pickle slices you get in burgers) and all the girls were taught how to best plug up their minnie-moo. Then we were shown a particularly gruesome video of someone popping a baby out and that was that. There was no mention of gay sex, despite me staying behind late and dropping my pencil case on the floor in front of the teacher with a leer on my face and a wink in my eye. That last bit wasn’t true. I never had a pencil case!

Anyway how the fuck did I get there? Ah yes. I’m not a scientist. But you don’t need to be to know detoxing is a load of shite, especially when you have to buy something in order to facilitate getting rid of the ‘bad toxins’. They always follow the same pattern – spend an obscene amount of money to buy some weird gel, powder or mix, restrict your calorie intake to something like 500 calories a day, and then sit there slack-jawed as the weight falls off. Well, the weight isn’t coming off because of the gel, is it? It’s coming off because you’re not eating enough calories to keep your body going, and as soon as you get back onto normal eating, all that lovely fat is going to rush back on. But at least your lips won’t be blue.

Put succinctly, don’t get suckered in by all the talk of dramatic weight loss and ‘I’VE NEVER FELT BETTER’. People are out to make money from slimming but the only way to do it is to eat healthily, exercise more and maintain that lifestyle going forward. No amount of gels, potions and nonsense will speed that up – because, think about it, if that were the case, none of us would need Slimming World, would we? To that end, that’s the joy of Slimming World – there’s no fancy chemical or procedure, just good honest food and plenty of support.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

That’s easy – it’s because, just like me, they long to be, close to you.

Do you have the recipe for that cake in the mug that people cream their knickers for?

No. But I DO have this:




232 thoughts on “Slimming World FAQ

  1. Pingback: hoy it all in sausage and tomato bake syn-free | two chubby cubs
      • Hi just found your pages and had a good laugh. Must share it with our consultant Helen as I am sure she would have told us about it if she had seen it. We do love a laugh at our group and today a lady told us her knickers were now falling down as they are too big.
        Another time when asked if she had done much body magic a lady said she had had a lot of sex!! Does that count?
        Keep up the good work and when I have a difficult week I will know where to look to cheer myself up!!

    • WOW I’ve just stumbled across this site whilst lying in the bath and after topping up the water 3 times I have to say I’m soooo impressed with you guys, not just the food although that looks amazing but your wit and humour is so cool oh man I love you guys already keep up the good work your great 🙂

      • Aaah Dawn! Christ I hope you’re not still in the bath mind, you’ll get out looking like Helen Daniels from Neighbours! Glad you’re enjoying what you’re reading, we do it for the laughs!

      • I'm such a newbie! So far I've done boerldress rag quilts but I have some stashed pieces that will make a quilt with borders. I love them all!! Thanks for sharing a copy of that lovely book – I can't wait to read it!

    • I’m in Nero’s in Eldon Square Newcastle upon Tyne and I have just laughed hysterically at your words! Bloody brilliant – thank you. (Although I now have no more napkins to wipe my eyes/blow my nose on and I don’t want to draw any more attention to myself by going for more. The hubby has moved seats!!!! ). I’ll just use my sleeve….!

  2. Bloody brilliant. I’ve just snorted coffee through my nose at half 7 on a Monday morning! I’m not given to hilarity at this time of day, ever!

  3. Thank you for your irreverent naughtiness – you and your recipes are a spark of inspiration in a sea of SW quiche,beans and weird sweeteners! xxx

    • Ooooh Mary, that made me laugh! Irreverent naughtiness is a charming way to put our blend of smut, swearing and tortured analogies! 😀 glad you’re enjoying it! xx

    • My thoughts exactly….I laugh so hard sometimes. I just don’t know where you get your funniness from and I’m 69 ( nearly ) and I have to say, the way you explain things here is the first time, in over a year that I have understood SW! Thank you. PS Just skimmed through this but will read properly later. Amazing.

      • Ouai… A ce sujet, surtout, ne partage pas ton savoir avec les autres, laisse moi avec mon wordpress, seule, sans sy028ro&#hc3n; Sinon, jolies photos, j’aime fort bien la derniere!!!!!!

  4. Pingback: no post? you cheeky bugger, I’ve gone and updated the FAQ page | two chubby cubs
  5. If I thought me getting to target WOULD mean mags running out of the cupboard in said fashion, I would 100% on plan every week lmao . Love it xx

  6. Bloody hell youve made my night I confess to not only being a serial slimmer for over 20 yrs bouncing between sw and the dark side (aka ww) I’m also one of the chosen ones that sit there every week and tell you what you’ve lost and believe me I love my job but it’s like being a priest sometimes taking confession ! Your honesty is refreshing and recipes amazing I”ve signed up and look forward to my e mails

    • je rassure les vierges effarouchées, un apéro géant n’est pas obligatoire ! par ailleurs nombre de musulmans boivent de l’alcool et il ne m&tnÂuo;Ãq©ronserait que pas mal consomment aussi du porc (en douce). La vie est ainsi, on ne peut contenter tout le monde et la revendication d’un patrimoine culinaire, d’un style de vie est parfaitement légale et démocratique. (il faut parfois sortir des cantines scolaires)

  7. oh oh i have laughed so much and i haven’t gone through half of the stuff, it is so funnily hilarious and of course so much informative. love this website. love it. bless you guys! keep on doing the wonderful work 🙂

    • Thank you! We’ll try our best – thanks for reading and don’t forget to pop over to our Facebook page and let us know how you’re getting on! 🙂 P x

  8. Oh my giddy good night this web-blog-site-cookbook-thingy you got going off here is fanbloodytastic!!!! My sw group never got my humour and evil lindy at weight watchers wanted to stab me every week so nice to find I’m not the only sarcy fatty out here!!!!
    God bless you boys such fabulous work!! Xx

    • Ah thank you! It’s folk like you that keep us going y’know, and I know that sounds so saccharin and un-us but it’s true! 🙂 Glad you’re enjoying it and hope you keep coming back for more. I promise we won’t post any nipslip shots. P x

  9. Just , thank you, my house mate is looking at me as if I have lost the plot, ive just giggled my way through this, and have to say its wonderful, thank you, x

    • Haha! Who cares if you look deranged, all the best people are lunatics anyway! Welcome to the gang 🙂 P x

  10. Fantastic I love you guys never fail to make me giggle out loud and your recipesand down to earth approach to dieting is fabulous love it love it love it xx

  11. Omg!I am laughing away whilst typing this!I love the way you write and your sense of humour! You have it all just spot on!I would want to attend your class just for the entertainment!xxx

  12. Love you guys. You kill me !!,I can never read your posts without a box of tissues to dab the tears of laughter ( not to mention the tena liners , sorry about this but I am a women of the menopausal age, and it seems to be my only weakness on SW!!!!) . Thank you so much for your recipes I love them. Keep all your posts coming , I look forward to them , a highlight of the day .Made your German potato salad and chicken recipe last night, lovely , will do again. Love your description of SW , I can relate to all of this. Best wishes to both of you xxxxx

    • Hehe, cheers Christine! Glad to be of service! Always like to hear when we make the lady fans a bit moist – can’t say it happens that often! P x

  13. Oh dear god you are so funny, almost had a moist type of accident on my computer chair! Thanks for the laughs, oh and the recipes 🙂

  14. Ach hell. Where have you been all my life. I do think that if you had been around for all of my “yes, this time I really am going to do it” failed attempts at weight loss, the failure rate would have been far lower. Your recipes are amazing – I wish I had an iota of your creativity. And your humour – right up my street!!! Love you both xx

    • Well you sound like you’re right up our street! You have an awesome name too.

      The way we do it is slow and steady – you could easily lose more and quicker if you stuck to eating shitty old boring recipes, but I think eating well and losing weight slowly is the way forward! I hope you succeed this time and thank you for your lovely comments!

  15. Oh my gosh, you’re a breath of fresh air! loving your humour… thank you for making me smile recipes look fab, I look forward to trying them

    • Thank you! Glad you’re enjoying it, we aim to please! Don’t forget to keep us updated and share share share! 🙂

      • you sit down at your computer with…a big happy grin and start thinking about all the money that’s going to start coming into your paypal open up your laptop, click on ms word and start to wrhot…ui-eh. you got nothing flowing, you re-read it a couple…

    • Well aren’t you a love! Please do feel free to move onto our street – all our neighbours are miserable as sin!

    • michèle & l’anonyme (arcadius ?) Pour m’as-tu-vu j’ai fait confiance au Petit Larousse, édition 2004. Mal m’en a pris puisque le TLFi admet le féminin…Cela dit, peut-on vraiment se fier à ce dernier dictionnaire, â”ecntrauoièr€ment féministe ?!! « Écrit à Charlotte pour prolonger mon séjour ici. Répondra-t-elle comme sa prédécessrice? » (CONSTANT, Journaux, 1813, p.382) 

  16. It’s not a good day unless I read one of your blogs. So funny. Sarcasm extreme. And yes I am about three quarters of the way into your book. Love it. Keep up the good work.

  17. Great read hilarious! I’m sure I’ve burnt off a few calories I put on last night (saturday)…will share to friends :))

    • If there’s one thing we’re good at, it’s getting things up arses. Cough. Luckily just a foot this time 😉 let us know how you get on!

  18. Oh my, finally someone who speaks my language! Am officially smitten by this blog and will cling to it like an Options Hot Chocolate (synned of course). Am also motivated to get back on it tomorrow! ????

  19. I started reading your posts months ago, initially for the recipes – good photography skills- but now I read them just for your blog. Love it. Not sure how well my weight loss journey is but at least I’m laughing!

  20. Thank you I love this guide it should be included in the back of all our books…I have laughed (out loud) til I cried and pissed off my husband who is watching some crap on bbc4 and pretending he’s intellectual. Sue

  21. I well and truly pissed my pants at your above FAQ on slimming World I’ve been a member for 3 years now and you just described it to a tea !

  22. Best description of a diet club ever! So glad I found you guys excellent recipes and a realistic outlook on dieting and food. Thank you for the enlightenment 🙂

  23. Just starting out on sw and made the turkey chilli last night and just loved it did it for 3 hours was lush! Thanks, love your humour and honesty and will try more of your recipes

  24. I so look forward to reading each and every entry, with or without the fab recipes. If you’re ever in Surrey, lads, I would be delighted to welcome you to my home, as long as you promise to keep making me laugh out loud, guffaw, chortle and snigger!!! Xxx

      • Sky from a ship.Field from the hills.Your memory is made of light,of smoke,of a still pond!Beyond your eyhrefast,er on,the evenings were blazing.Dry autumn leaves revolved in your soul.


  26. Whilst on a night shift in A&E, I stumble across your website looking for slimming world recipes. Dear lord I’ve not snorted out so loud for a long time, your page cracks me up! that much that all my work friends have gathered around to see what i was laughing out so loud about. I love love love your website and i can’t wait to try out your recipes! thank you for making my night! xx

  27. I havent laughed do hard while sat alone in ages,,,, you are so funny thank you for that I will be following you closely ,,,, I will go read the recipes now,,, thank you

  28. Made me chuckle. As a SW member I still consult my book as and when I feel a need, my group is very supportive. A note on sweeteners, I use to replace sugar in baking (I love cake). If the recipe says 100g sugar for example you need only use 10g of sweetener. I try to use one without aspartame but don’t worry too much or I wouldn’t ever eat anything. Xx keep up the good work. L xx

  29. oh my giddy aunt…ive only been with SW for 9 weeks and im struggling..i found your site by accident and boy am i glad. apart from the fact that the recipes look amazing, you are hilarious.ive just woken my grandson because i laughed so hard.(which is rare for me).Have you a FB page?.. keep up the great work.x

  30. Siobhan

    Loving this website, brilliant……. question though. My leader has asked other members to help her when its busy, and I know the girl doing the weigh ins from school…….. so now I am waiting to the end of class to get weighed by the Leader. Should I say something to the leader, I remember her from school and there is no way I would want her to know my weight. I just wouldn’t trust her not to say it to people.

    • Sorry, just seen this! Firstly, thank you for the lovely comments 🙂

      With regards to the weigh-in lady, they’re supposed to sign a confidentiality agreement – if they tell people, they can get into trouble. That said, I still wouldn’t feel comfortable either, so yes, I’d speak to your leader. Seems a shame to let someone else spoil your journey! Good luck!

    • Do youve got a spam problem on this site; I also am a blogger, and I was asking yourself your sinttuioa; weve created some nice techniques and we are searching to trade options with other people, be positive to blast me an e-mail if serious.

  31. I’ve been on Slimming World for just over a year now, and it’s lovely to read that people can poke fun at it while sticking (ish) to the plan. I do find the group happy-clappy but also love the group I’m in. Absolutely love the recipes, and the blog posts. Finally had a chance to read a few properly today, including the FAQ here and I am absolutely crying. Keep up the good work boys 🙂

  32. Hi, I did enjoy reading this. One thing i still don´t understand though; What is a syn an how do you estimate how many you have in your meals?

  33. Wow I have just come across this site. Made me have a laugh, thank you for that.i lost 4 stone on sw a few years back but need to refresh . This is perfect

  34. I’ve just joined your site and have to say it’s brilliant. I have two weddings to attend this year and have been flagging with the effort of losing weight. You boys have cheered me up and given me some oomph to get started again

  35. Why has it taken me until now to find you! Love you both already and I’ve only read ‘About Us’ and the FAQ!! Looking forward to trying some of your recipes because, yes, all the SW recipes I’ve tried so far have been really watery and, frankly, gopping. Thanks Chubby Cubs! x

  36. 47 weeks monday, ive been at slimming world, 40 weeks and 3 days of being pregnant i just caught preg as i started doing the sw and ive lost near 4 stone if i can get the last 8lb of in 5 weeks then i will of lost 4 stone 1lb 1/2 in a year i cant wait 🙂 hoping now ive come across ya page this last few pound will be easy to get off love ya blogs and recpies thanks guys xxx

  37. Wow! Was fortunate enough to find this blog while searching for SW recipes. You explain so much in the FAQ, thanks so much. I live in darkest Africa so unfortunately won’t be able to attend a class anytime soon but this has given me so much info.

  38. Just found this after looking for Syn-free recipes online (Im too tight to buy any books) and I have to say what a great read this blog is. Sharp, Whitty and friendly.

    • i read the post over at karl’s. like an idiot, i watched the video. i’ve tried to be nice, but there is no other way to say this. avitable, you are a sick, sick bastard and you need help. that’s meant with the utmost love and coionderatisn.

  39. Hilarious and an accurate description of the er meetings. You forgot screaming,roaming kids and the lone mentally challenged male.

  40. Thank you, thank you, thank you – what an inspiration you both are . I discovered your site when looking for SW recepies – it is sheer joy ! Xx

  41. I’ve just read this for third time,as it makes me laugh so much!!! You guys are hilarious & every week at group I imagine everyone as seals as they sit and clap!!!! Keep up the good work. Anna

  42. Hilarious!!! I especially love the bit about scan bran!!!! I actually “lol”ed!!!
    My sister and I have told anyone who wants to listen about you guys at our Essex slimming world group-and we too have had it out with a stand-in consultant about Tweaking, which has led to it being referred to as bananagate down here!! ??

  43. Hi just found your website, it is great wish you guys ran a slimming club your wit and humour make dieting all the more enjoyable, love your recipes looking forward to trying them. good work guys.xx

  44. Just seen this for the fisrt time and I let the kids stay up longer cos I couldn’t stop reading it lol very funny and great to hear it in a way that most of us thinks it is!

  45. Oh wow I can’t breath for laughing, this is slimming world life in a nutshell thank you a million times over if full on belly laughs were body magic I’d be size 0 after reading slimming world faq.

  46. what a great blog the best iv come across im laughing out aloud each time and eagerly wait for the next post your amazing and thankyou keep it coming

  47. Hi love you boys but wonder if you have any smoothie recipes. Not for fruit, can easily buy the frozen ready to blend fruits in Aldi etc but was told yesterday, 1 portion fruit and 4 of veg. Do not want soup every day but some green smoothies, pref out of freezer, would be good and I feel you are the lads to know about that sort of thing. Did some OK but by adding a banana to sweeten, a slim young thing at hospital says NO to the banana as I have a fruit on my oats for brekkie. Any help??? xx

  48. I’ve just pissed my pants a little reading this! Best thing I’ve stumbled over in ages…thanks for the info and the laughs 🙂

  49. just love love your blogs you have such writing talent and an amazingly good sense of humor which i totally get as mine is the same thankyou and keep the blog going iv also bought your book saving it for my holiday reading

  50. You make my day!

    So so funny, and your recipes are awesome.
    I can’t stop smiling when i’m reading your blog. So glad i found you!

    Thanks a million.

  51. Hilarious, actually belly laughing at some of your stuff. Not sure how I came across you though as I simply typed in SW recipes. How often do you update this?

  52. Oh no , just made crockpot lasagne and turkey chilli for myself. was hoping to freeze the meals so I could pull one out when I needed something to eat.Have had to share them, everyone likes them.
    Best recipe site ever. Well done and thanks

  53. Absolutely brilliant Guys, done SW couple of times before and it does work, but as you know things don’t always go to plan and you end up back where you started! Didn’t feel the love of the consultant at the class I attended!! Well everyday I intend to start on the healthy eating it goes well till ooh about 7pm then all goes horribly wrong, wine and savoury snacks because I had a hard day at work………..utter bloody excuse! Gotta get back to it or else I will explode. I know what I have to do, I just have to actually do it. Love the blog, hope my willpower will kick in keep me on the path to a not so bad 54 year old body xx

  54. ???????? I am exhausted laughing. A failed miserably SW member. I stop and start like a demented bus driver with his foot stuck on the clutch. I am soooo glad I found this site. It has given me the incentive to try again and not take it so seriously. Thank you for your recipes and inspiration, you have made an old (72) fat lady laugh like a hysterical hyena this afternoon. Keep up the good work.

  55. you guys are a hoot, crackin patter!! Loving all the recipes too, just back to SW and now know where to come for inspiration, Ta, you two cubs Rock!

  56. Priceless blog.. love it. I shall smirk to myself when I am next sitting in the happy clappy land that is my group.

    I have done EE and SP and thibk, for me, both are a load of bollocks. Had large losses with Green and Original and having kept my books, am doing them again and have lost 5lbs and 5.5lbs in two weeks as l was actually gaining on EE and no, wasn’t stuffing my snout heffalump-style..

    Will make a bit of mischief on our Group Facebook page by putting a link to your blog on it 😉

    • Well done you! Keep going! And thanks for sharing us! Not in THAT way, but, well, we probably wouldn’t turn one down.

  57. You are the most irreverent people i have ever read – and I LOVE it. Keep up the good work boys – you are bringing a lot of joy to a lot of disillusioned dieters!!

  58. OMG I just wet my self at 7am this morning, just coming across your blog looking for overnight oats! ?? I have never giggled so much in all my life……..please keep it up xxx

  59. i swear one of these days I am gonna get sectioned or kicked off the bus cause of you two!
    Reading the frequently asked q&a’s with the pie charts had me laughing so hard on the bus I nearly wet myself (I’ve had two kids my pelvic floor ain’t what it use to be!). Had some very strange looks of the passengers and an old lady thought I was choking. Cheers for the chuckles! x x x

  60. Now I’ll remember which is the HEa and which is the HEb…ankles and backsides…*snigger*
    Can’t you start your own touring SW group??
    Cheers, Chubbycubs, you belters! ‘Thanks for the Bants’, as my kids would say.

  61. Just stumbled across this website ( just? About 3 hours ago and still reading it!) you are my new obsession! Yes i’l finally be able to dump the two whole Swiss rolls a day in favour of getting my buzz from you two! Thank you soooooooo much.

  62. OMG, I think people at work think there’s something wrong with me – laughed so hysterically I couldn’t breathe (nor could I explain what was so funny)! Can’t wait for the next post 🙂

    • Glad you liked it! Don’t forget, there’s an email box on the right-hand side – if you bung yours in there you’ll get a handy email everytime we post a new recipe 🙂

  63. I seriously love your daily emails. Your humour is right up my street and gives me encouragement to eat a bit more healthily without making me feel like a failure if I slip up. I’m going to give the Christmas challenge a go next.
    Thank you x

  64. Lordy me! Never has a gay man made me moist in the nether regions, until now that is. I have just read your FAQ’s and literally just wet myself laughing. My other half is playing some shite Play Station game (as only men in their mid forties do!) and keeps asking me what I’m laughing at, I told him its a recipe website, not sure he actually believes me. I attended my first meeting today along with my Mum and we joked on the way home about the skin on our hands stinging, maybe I’ll hold off of the over enthusiastic new girl clapping next week. You chaps are a couple of treasures for these funny, informative and slightly twisted perspectives. Love it all though and thank you. Mwah. X

  65. you just crack me up. Sitting her laughing out loud at some of your expressions and sayings !!!!!

    I am sure you must be Scottish ???

  66. You crack me up! I stumbled upon your page while looking for new inspiration for yummy grub and have found this magnificent page! Love reading your blogs and the recipes are amazing… thanks guys, keep up the great work! xxx

  67. OMG! I have just laughed my ass off reading this at my desk! whilst eating my satsumas in fact I am crying!
    Thank you as I am a new member and my first weigh in is this THURSDAY!
    Thank you for all of the recipes, yet to try them out!

  68. Always “done” WW previously as I have never really understood how slimming world works. Anyways after reading your FAQ I’m gonna give it a whirlpool. I must be mad, but as I will have 8 classes before my holiday I’m starting on 27.12.16.
    Just hope I can get the booze cupboard empty by then.
    Thanks boys and Merry Christmas

  69. Hi both, I have just stumbled across your blog whilst debating joining slimming world and trawling the internet for family meal ideas, (we have 2 fussy eaters) -that’s me and hubby not the kids!!!- subsequently gave myself an asthma attack after giggling so much at your blog! Keep up the good work!!

  70. At my first meeting of SW I likened it to a Hen House of clucking overweight poultry, I have now grown to love the Hens and frequently find myself chucking in the odd cluck. I recommend your site to all the ladies (and one Man) present as some of them need to loosen their corsets for a good belly laugh. Never stop xx

    • Thank you for recommending us! I dread to think what some people think when they click on here! SW classes can be a drag but they are worth going to, and if you get the right class, it’s much easier! 🙂

      No plans to stop yet! Maybe at 500 recipes…

  71. Stumbled upon this site, and very pleased that I did. I’m just preparing myself to start Slimming World, my hubby and I seriously need to loose a few feet instead of inches. Had a look through this site and what a giggle. Love the recipes too. Bookmarked this site and I can see myself coming back often in the future. Thanks x

  72. Just found your page and had a right giggle, I really appreciate the information and all the recipes
    thank you for taking the time. I can wait to read any updates.

  73. Hi, i have just come across two chubby cubs & your recipes are nothing short of brilliant. I have 4 stone to loose, so trying very hard to stick to plan. 2 questions, You say most meals do 4 people. When it tells you the syn value is that for each 4 portions or for the whole meal.? Also are you in Scotland, England or out of the uk? Thank you so much for all those lovely recipes, cant wait to get some of them done xx. Lorraine gerrie

    • Cheers! Our recipes are usually for four unless it says otherwise. The syn values in the ingredients list are for the whole lot and the syn value per portion is always on the photo 🙂 hope that helps! Oh, and we’re in the North East of England 🙂

  74. I have just read your FAQ section and I must have lost at least a pound from hysterical shaking with laughter! I thought Matt Lucas and Peter Kay were pretty funny with their takes on Slimming Clubs in general but they’re nothing compared to you guys – the difference being true insider knowledge. I did the Red and Green version aeons ago and last Monday I rejoined and am now getting to grips with the Extra Easy plan. Thank you for your recipes. I’m about to make your slow cooker lasagne.
    PS It’s not just the SW recipes that are watery so I find myself adding less liquid or, if the ingredients allow, cooking it about twice as long as it says. ?

  75. This is hilarious and everything you say about the group and the plan is spot on! i’ve tried a few of your recipes and have found them much tastier than those on other sites, you should be on the tv, much more appealing to people on a weight loss plan than some stick thin sympathetic know it all. P.s i want you to be my gay best friends!;)

  76. Oh my goodness meeeee!!! Do you have you any idea just how delighted I am that I entered ‘free slimming world recipes’ on the internet and your blog popped up? My partner Neil and I have NOT stop laughing for the past half an hour while reading your blog. Thank you for making this trip that we are embarking on such a funny but extremely helpful journey. Our aim is for us to get back to the weight that we were when we got together 46 years ago. Believe me, that’s going to be some mission but with this blog, it’ll be a much happier journey! 🙂

  77. Just found you guys and my kids are so confused as to why I am peeing my pants at the laptop (laughing, not literally, although after 3 kids it might be a bit of both!) I’m just starting my slimming journey and was looking for inspiration and found some! Can’t wait to try some of your recipies! 😀

  78. Thank you for the lovely recipes! Thanks, too, for making the sw experience a funny and honest one. I really appreciate it when you describe sweaty crack frylight and pumice scan bran because it’s true. So happy to see real food treated right, like syn a tsp of olive oil and enjoy rather than suffer through a soapy fry light burger.
    I love reading your travelogue too… the sudden, squeaky laughter-queefs and snorting have woken my husband many a night.

    • Squeaky queefs! Good lord, you’ll forgive me if I don’t put that down as a recommendation 😀 and thank you, we love hearing from people who appreciate eating proper food as opposed to sweetened this and plastic that. Eat well, that’s what we say! 🙂

  79. Thank you for making me laugh and giving me motivation. Watching episodes of Real housewives and feeling inadequate!!
    Need to get back on track and reading your blog has definitely cheered me up.
    Can’t wait to try your recipes. x

  80. Pretty sure people on my train think I am nuts laughing out loud reading your blog….wonder of they notice my coat is too big for me now ? , anyway ,loving the recipes on here so do my family . I am loving slimming world have the best class with a leader who could easily do stand up and gets all of us to a T . Between her and you guys laughing myself slim .

  81. I stumbled over your website and you have made my day! Been laughing soooo much. You guys are hilariously funny . . love your SOH !

  82. I’ve just started SW and am a bit confused by the online planner. For example: 1 portion Iceland Zuppa Di Pesce, Fish & Seafood Casserole, frozen (500g pack) comes up as 3.5 Syns but is this for 1/2 the pack – 1portion or the whole pack 500g? Don’t want to go over Syns. Hope you can help.

  83. That is by far the funniest thing I have read in ages. I am that Ten Tonne Tessie, they do up your syns – but not by much, it only just covers a Freddo Frog. My husband and I (hark at me, I sound like the queen!) go to the same class so you’ve given us inspiration – we’re going to take it in turns to pick a band for the week and try to work a song title into any discussion about our weight loss/gain. Best thing I’ve done this year is signing up for your emails – they make me roar!

  84. My husband wants to know what I am laughing at, so much that I am crying. It was the description of Scan Bran that did it ! Thank you for the most hilarious take on the SW journey. I am back on it having put on all the weight I lost 2 years ago. This time round I cannot drag myself back to class for many and numerous reasons but some of which you have touched upon above… so am after any and every inspiration I can find. Think I will stick around.

  85. My God, I laughed so much I thought my knickers would NEVER dry…thank you for making this old slimming world hag happy!

  86. Eeeh, I am a Gateshead lass who lives in Norfolk (that is the arse end of nowhere to the rest of you). I have been told I “look well” and “have a great personality”, so that is classic code for FAT as FUCK!!
    I have just started SW and found your blog – So glad to see a couple of Geordie lads keeping up the Northern End (so to speak)!!
    Laughing at your posts has really cheered me up and made me want to really give this a good try. Also, what I save on buying Magnums and Twirls is going towards an Actifry!!

  87. Loving all the recipes as was getting bored with same things all the time. Just stumbled across your site while looking for new SW meal ideas. Best find ever and funny with it , love it.

    I just have one tiny question , when you put syn value at side of a recipe is it for the whole recipe?

    Brilliant work keep it going , this site is a godsend, thank you

  88. Absolutely hilarious! I’m still grinning to myself…. And I shall read it again if I need cheering up. Love your sense of humour! 🙂

  89. Jesus wept you guys crack me up 🤣 how have I only just discovered your page?? Sure I’ve lost a stone just from laughing at it! Keep up the good work fellas 👍🏻

  90. jogging strollers travel systems are used by families that are either one child or where there aremore than 1 child , we all undersand that kids form 1 month to 2 years or more are often using strollers like these,

  91. This is absolutely hilarious!

    I stumbled across your site today Googling ‘why the fuck does mashed fruit count towards syns??’

    Cheers for the explanation!

  92. This has made me snort tea through my nose, surely that counts as some kind of loss?! Absolutely bang on – all of these things are so true. Glad I am not the only one who decides not to give a fanny about 1 syn! Life is too short. At the end of the day if you’re not having the bacon sarnie, pizza and garlic bread and a kebab for dinner and four cakes, then whatever you do will work!
    Some of these recipes look amazing and that book is going on pre-order right NOW! Am so pleased to have found you!

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