Chicken cakes? I know, it sounds as appetising as sleeping face-down in the cuddle-puddle after a hot session with orange shitbag Donald Trump, but please, bear with me. You can have fishcakes, yes? Well these little buggers are gorgeous, trust me. Like a chicken nugget only you’re not spending ten minutes afterwards thinking about whether you’ve just eaten a bumhole, eyelid, or combination of both.
Only a recipe tonight, mind, as we’re busy working on something exciting. Well, I am, Paul’s busy ironing. WHAT AN EXCITING LIFE EH. This recipe makes about eight or so cakes, and I’m synning them at half a syn each rather than the 0.75 syns that it should be. Don’t tell Mags, eh?
OH one thing. We’ve had word that there’s a Slimming World group in Cornwall somewhere where one of the members is printing off the recipes and selling them as a booklet. Please, don’t do this. We do this for free and we want it to stay that way. If you want to profit from our hard work, at least ask. Don’t be a fucknugget about it.
to make chicken cakes you will need
- 500g chicken (or turkey) mince
- half a red, yellow or orange pepper, diced
- 1 onion, finely chopped
- 1 pinch chilli flakes
- half a chicken stock cube
- 2 garlic cloves, minced
- 4 tbsp extra-light mayonnaise (2 syns)
- ½ teaspoon salt
- ¼ black pepper
- 2 shakes Tabasco sauce
- 25g panko (4½ syns)
- 1 egg, beaten
- 2 tsp dijon mustard (1 syn)
to make chicken cakes you should:
- in a large pan, spray in some oil over a medium-high heat and add the onions, pepper, chilli flakes and crumble in half the chicken stock cube, and cook together for about 3 minutes
- add the garlic and cook for another minute
- add HALF of the raw chicken mince (you read that right – trust me) to the pan, and cook until cooked though – it’ll take about 3 minutes
- remove from the heat and set aside to cool
- in a large bowl, mix together the mayonnaise, salt, pepper, tabasco, panko, egg and dijon mustard
- add the cooked chicken (wait until it’s cool enough to hold) and the remaining raw chicken (it’ll be fine! honestly!) and mix really well together
- divide the mixture into 8 balls and flatten each one into a burger shape (this burger press is only £3.50 and will do the job nicely)
- plonk onto some greaseproof paper so they don’t stick and pop in the fridge for about half an hour to let them firm up – pour yourself a gin
- spray a large frying pan with oil and whack on to a medium-high heat
- using a spatula, add the chicken cakes to the pan (you might need to do it in batches) and cook for about 4 minutes per side until cooked through
- serve and enjoy!
We served with chips and some extra-light mayonnaise because we’re classy bitches. Want more recipes? Click the buttons below!