about us

Well, hello! We haven’t updated our ‘about us’ since 2016 and quite a lot has happened since then, so here we are! An all about us that reflects who we are as opposed to who we were. As I’m an terrific little gasbag it’s ridiculously long so if you want the summary:

  • two gay men who run the blog: James (me, writer, commitment issues, tall) and Paul (him, cook, shortarse, can’t look at a camera)
  • blog is about diet food that doesn’t feel like a punishment sprinkled with the lives of the owners
  • we take absolutely nothing seriously, swear far more than we ought to and think nothing of putting a rimming reference into a gazpacho recipe – we like to think we’re the antithesis of your average blog
  • we went on the telly and it was fun and everything
  • we’ve released some books to critical acclaim
  • we’ve got two cats (Bowser and Sola), a soon-to-be-arriving dog (Goomba) and live somewhere terribly Northern
  • I don’t have a Geordie accent unless I’m angry
  • media enquiries, partnerships, tasteful nudes and raunchy videos should all be sent to admin@twochubbycubs.com
  • reach us on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook

twochubbycubs: the blog

twochubbycubs (never Two Chubby Cubs, despite our publishers trying their best) was set up back in 2014 as an antithesis to boring cooking blogs which spend eighteen years telling you about the time they traipsed down to the artisanal market on a bicycle made of spelt to buy fresh tomatoes and a side of smugness. See, we’re different, you get 1,000 words about the time Paul ordered uno tapas in Benidorm or my hot-take on the issues of the moment, delivered four months after they were relevant. 2014 was a bad time for diets: every online blog was doing things with sweetener and eggs that it’s not nice to talk about. Meals served up were overly-salty, watery affairs, presumably from the tears of sadness dropping into them as they bubbled on the hob. In the absence of finding recipes that didn’t taste like diet food, twochubbycubs was born.

Our ethos is simple and sickeningly naff: ‘food to be enjoyed, not endured‘, and although we’ve had a few stumbles since (anyone for black rice jambalaya, or potato dauphinois made with purple potatoes?), we reckon we’ve stuck close to that motto. You’ll rarely find sweeteners in our recipes for example, because there’s simply no place for them in good cooking – a teaspoon of sugar never troubled anyone’s waistline, and it tastes so much better. As we were doing Slimming World at the time, we hung our hat on providing syn values with our recipes, and although we don’t personally follow Slimming World anymore, we still champion it as an easy way to lose weight if you stick to it. We calorie count now, by the way, but mostly in the sense that we make each calorie count by doing the absolute minimum to burn it off. I know, we’re terrible.

The blog grew slowly over the first few years with people responding well to the mixture of good food and, somewhat inexplicably, the stories of two happily (citation needed) married (citation needed) men who blundered around doing very little but having a gay old time of it. At the start I used to write the little tales to push us over the 300 word minimum, now I write because I’m an utter gobshite and my fingers mashing against the greasy prints on our keyboard is the closest I get to meaningful human contact these days. It turns out to run an entertaining blog that all you need is a bewilderingly wide vocabulary, the ability to push four penis references into the tightest of syntax and an innate skill for taking a joke and running it into the ground when leaving it out would always be neater. Neater? I barely knew ‘er! See? It’s that easy. We went from ten readers to over 500,000 followers across our social media streams, a number I still can’t quite get my head around. Still, if it isn’t broke…

…don’t fix it. On that note, we remain hilariously low-tech in terms of the website, though Paul reassures me that at the time of writing (2021) he expects to have our Realplayer recipes ready within weeks. We desperately need to update it, but that seems like altogether too much effort and expense. For now, we will continue as we are, way too much guff before the recipe and no apologies given whatsoever.

twochubbycubs: the TV stuff

One month way back in 2018, we went on holiday to Copenhagen and for the first time in our jolly little lives, we realised that we couldn’t do stuff because we were so fat. I don’t mean seeing my feet but rather going on rides, walking across the city easily (and Copenhagen is as flat as a pricked bladder, for goodness sake) or pick up randoms in the gay bars. You can imagine which one of those three scenarios hurt me most, can’t you? When we got back we realised we needed to do something, and in a serendipitous piece of timing, my mate sent me a flier for a new show by Davina McCall called This Time Next Year. Here you pledged to do something over the course of a year in the aim of a shock reveal and we elected to lose five stone each. After a call with the producers that was doubled to ten stone, we filmed all of our ‘before’ bits and over the course of the year, lost almost ten stone each between us. The whole process was terribly fun and I realise now that I’ve never done a blog article on the full process, so when I do, I’ll circle back and update this.

The outpouring of love we received was absolutely terrific and I can’t help but hold myself and the sight of me half-naked on a doctor’s table, anxious because I had a pair of scratty George briefs on and knew there was a hole where my bollocks would peep out, as fully responsible. The show thrust us a degree more into the public eye and on the back of that, came the books. More on that in the next part.

I’ve genuinely only watched that back about two times in my life. But in case you’re wondering, our antique penny-farthing restoration business is coming along quicksticks.

We’ve been on telly twice more – one was on Save Money Lose Weight with that doctor who I’d demand a prostate examination from even if I went in with an ingrown toenail and the other being James Martin’s Saturday Kitchen. On Save Money Lose Weight a lovely chap called Victor was encouraged to follow our recipes to drop some weight and replace the takeaways he was having. He did just that and lost an incredible amount of weight (I think two stone in a month) which, not gonna lie, was a bloody relief given we had no idea about the show. We came third best overall diet in the entire series, with only two fad diets beating us – one with vinegar, one with what honestly looked like a teaspoon of spunk for dinner. I’ve since bankrupted the latter company by treating it like a Dominos.

James Martin was great fun. Another one for a longer entry, if he agrees to it. We went on as guests to promote the book: I chattered endlessly and Paul made enough salad for eight people served in a bowl big enough for two. The Internet was terribly mean, but by god we had fun!

We’ve done all sorts of radio interviews for good measure, and bloody love ‘owt like that. Paul always says he hates the media side of things but you know what, get him slapped in a make-up chair and the man comes alive.

twochubbycubs: the books

On the back of the TV show we were contacted by a publisher or two who wanted to turn our blogs into books. We turned them down when they started umming and aahing about the content and our tone. Luckily, a plucky young love kept on at us and once I realised they also happened to be Stephen King’s publisher, we signed up. A year and a half later, we have:

  • our very first cookbook of 100 tried and tested slimming recipes – the ones we used to lose all the weight on This Time Next Year – order yours here
  • our second cookbook of 100 more amazing slimming recipes that are designed to save you time – click here to order
  • our beautifully illustrated planner to assist with losing weight – you can order it here

Quite honestly, it’s absolutely and utterly surreal. The feeling of walking into Tesco to pick up some groceries and seeing your own work right there on the shelves never truly feels real. The first book sold way, way, way better than anyone expected and we had no idea if the second would do the same. It has. Both became Sunday-Times Bestsellers. Both have led to book signings and interviews and all that, but more excitingly to us, we’ve got a combined 7,500 5* reviews across them both. People pay us the highest compliments by saying the books aren’t like all those other cookbooks – they’re funny, the meals work and they – as we always wanted – reflect us perfectly. If you have bought one of our books, we can’t honestly thank you enough. It’s humbling, beautiful and exciting all at once, and if everything stopped right now, I’d be the happiest little bee for all that we’ve accomplished.

Before we get to all the words, here’s a collage of the cruel ravages of time. I’m the one with the beard, and his name is Paul.

twochubbycubs: James (the writer)

We have experimented with each writing the other’s bio, but frankly, Paul doesn’t put the same level of sass into mine that I desire and so, I’m writing my own. My name is James, I’m 35, six foot two and described, entirely by my own making, as a walking B-Side Pet Shop Boys lyric. Growing up I wanted to be a pilot (but was scared of flying and came from a village where they still scream at the metal dragons when they fly over), a vet (until I put my hand up a sheep’s vagina, though I must stress it was a consensual and monitored situation: I was helping a friend deliver a lamb), an actor (still keeping that one in the bank) and a writer. I’ve always wanted to write ever since a teacher back in middle school graded my mock English Language SATS at a never-before-seen-in-our-school grade 8 – the sense of pride I felt never left me, though I’ll confess to Ms Westgarth right now that the piece of fiction I submitted was almost a word for word recap of The X-Files Movie. It feels good to get that off my chest.

My favourite colour is blue (eyes, humour and the lips of my lovers), my favourite band is Muse (too many angsty teenage break-ups involved me sniffling into my long hair to the sounds of Unintended), I’m submechanophobic, mildly trypophobic and a dreadful hypochondriac. I hold my breath when I get in a lift to see if I can make it all the way to my desired floor without passing out. I’m a firm believer in being open about my mental health and long-time readers will know that for all the mettle in my writing, if I’m struggling, I’ll talk about it, because not enough people do. I have four regrets in life with only one that I’ll discuss here: I spent far too much of my life worrying what people think of me. If I could spread one message it would be one of loving yourself, and not in the masturbatory way – though that’s just marvellous too. My confidence now is a relatively new thing and stems entirely from realising that I genuinely don’t give a fuck what the average person in the street thinks I look like, an epiphany that came too late to stop me turning down all sorts of fun situations, both debauched and wholesome. If I could speak to my younger self it would only be to reassure him that he wasn’t a gargoyle and to encourage him to cut his hair short a bit sooner. Nowadays, although admittedly I am prone to periods of introspection when the right person says the wrong thing, I just don’t care. Try it – focus only on those that matter.

Heavy stuff, but then, so am I – I’ve battled with my weight all my life, alternating between one extreme to the other as a hairy Schrödinger’s Fat. When I’m skinny I miss my belly and when I’m fat I miss my toes. At the time of writing I’m back at the stage where you’d deliberate over getting into a two-man tent with me, but I’m happy enough with that. I’m rarely cold and I’m told my gently bobbing boobs are wonderful to sleep upon, plus, I’m now at the age where I can grow a beard, get a paw-print tattoo and market myself as a bear in the gay world. That’s where the cubs part of twochubbycubs is from, by the way – a cub is a young, hairy gay bloke.

I suppose, given I’m now handing over to Paul for his bit, a little about the other, better half of me. I rag Paul out something terrible on here, always making jibes about his weight or his laziness or his inability to order food without embarrassing himself or his insistence on voiding his bowels whenever we go anywhere or his silly rollerskate car or the fact he owns eighteen lumberjack shirts of varying shades of green and blue or the terrifying truth that his mother looks like Zelda from Terrahawks eight months into a meth addiction or the fact he still can’t tie his laces properly and ducks them into the side of his shoes or even that he literally only listens to Tracy Chapman or the small detail of his whistling nose when he sleeps or, whilst we’re here, the fact he chuckles to himself in deep slumber whenever he breaks wind and let’s not forget whilst we’re on a roll the slight vexatiousness of his incapability of making a decision and for good measure can we please talk about the fact he will nod agreement to anything I say and then say what afterwards the same way my nana used to or even the little way he gets himself literally addicted to Sinex Micromist leaving our bedside table awash with camphoric vapour, but I truly can’t imagine a life without him. He rolls (usually buttered) with all my verbal punches and not a single day goes by without him making me laugh. He’s a good egg, both metaphorically and physically, though I take pains not to let any of you know lest you steal him away.

JX

twochubbycubs: Paul (the cook)

Oh bloody hell, my go. Okay, well, I’m Paul – 34, five foot something and I guess you could describe me as the brains, body and face of the blog. I’m much more a ‘behind the scenes’ kind of guy so as much as you might see James pouting away on the feed, I’m lolloping around there somewhere, likely scraping out the crispy bits from the bottom of the Actifry and grinding multivitamins into his tea. As you’ve probably heard us say loads of times I’m the ‘cook’ and do most of the ‘recipe development’ if we’re going to go all fancy-dan about it. I make the stuff, then James goes on and makes everything look pretty, and serves it all directly into your brain. I think it’s a perfect partnership that works amazingly well, even if I do spend 20% of my time trying to bore a hole into the back of James’ head with my eyes for not using bin liners.

I grew up in a boring little village practically in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by sugar beet and burning pig carcasses. Growing up I wanted to be a wrestling team’s ‘relief’ but Connexions didn’t have a leaflet for that, so instead I went with my second choice to work doing the lights for travelling concerts. Of course, being me and scatty and mashed on 20/20 I ended up doing fairly tedious admin jobs until I found a job I actually love doing. Favourite colour? Green. Favourite singer is of course my Tracy Chapman. Voice of angel and the only woman I’d turn for.

As you may be able to tell I’m really quite shy so talking about myself doesn’t come easily. I work full-time in a hospital doing all sorts of things that are tremendous fun but will make your eyes glaze over if I explained it to you. All you need to know is that I look just as dumpy in a pair of polyester scrubs as I do in real life. Imagine an apple crumble poured into a sandwich bag. I suppose I’m a bit more stoic and practically-minded than James – I tend to just get on with things whereas he’ll dream up ideas. Again, together, I reckon we make it work really well. We’re excited to see where twochubbycubs go from here. It’s amazing but a weird feeling to think that just a few years ago we were pulling together these blog posts to share with you all – taking photos on an old iPad in our shitty beige kitchen on our black Wilkos dinner plates. Some of our early stuff makes me cringe so hard my urethra burns, but then going through them it’s brilliant to see how we developed and grew into what we are now. It’s like an html version of marking your kids height on a doorframe.

We might not be the biggest or the best, but damn it, I reckon we do alright – and if you’re reading this I hope you do too! I started all of this not being a confident cook at all – I could barely cook a tin of beans – but just gradually, over time, the more I did the basic things like chopping an onion (without lopping off a fingertip) and searing some beef (without it becoming cremated) we got a bit better and a bit better. To think that we’ve now got cookbooks is something I NEVER would have thought would happen. But here we are! Cooking is something that had never really been of any interest to me and most definitely wasn’t anything that came naturally. The blog was borne out of James’ need to write (and my need for him to be away from under my feet) so to share the labour I’d agree to at least attempt to cook, while he wrote the spiel around it and so the cookery part was pure necessity. Having twochubbycubs means that I’ve been able to learn, entirely from scratch, a brand new skill, and I’m so grateful for it. I’m hoping I get to also grow a heaving bosom like wor Nigella.

Unlike James I’ve been fat all of my life, never really venturing outside of the ‘obese’ category until recently when we went on This Time Next Year. After always being a big boy I find it really difficult to get out of the mindset and bad habits. Having this blog and all of our various challenges over the years has allowed me to find a good routine that works for me, and although I’m not perfect at sticking to it I’m getting better. At the very least, I know exactly what *doesn’t* work for me which is about half the battle. A combination of lockdown, long COVID, living in a hotel and just general ennui means I’ve fallen off the wagon quite a bit, but I’m working back to get to where I was. Learning where you go wrong and getting back on track is all part of the process.

So, yes. That’s me. You won’t see or hear much of me but I am here, beavering away! You’ve got a much better bit of eye candy in James anyway so enjoy it as much as I do. He’s got a lovely arse. For all that we bicker sometimes he’s the cherry to my Lambrini and I couldn’t be without him and twochubbycubs just wouldn’t be here without him and his genius ideas, and actually being the one that gets things from our hob out there to you, which he does almost single-handedly. And for that, I have now almost forgiven him for giving me the clap on our first date.

Still haven’t got that dog, mind.

PX

that’s us

If you have any questions, send them to admin@twochubbycubs.com where we will look at them, promise to reply immediately and then get distracted by a shiny piece of foil. But we try our best!

326 thoughts on “about us

  1. I’m thinking this is going to be the funniest weight loss blog ever. I’m an SW consultant (yes we need help too!) and a bear to boot. Really impressed with the recipe card… who’s the graphic designer?

    • Ooh! Well it was a template I found stuck down the back of my iPad, and I just fannied about with it until it looked good – but thanks! Your kind words are appreciated! I don’t know if I can genuinely call myself a cub anymore but who cares…who is counting…well you, presumably syns!

    • How divine are you? i love the blog, and for some reason, athough ofcourse iIdo not actually know you, can sort of imagine you saying these things, and having me in stitiches! Fab recipes, really helping as I am a” if there is no cream in it, I ain;t having it” sort of woman! Thats why I am a fat faghag now and losing it! One stone gone one an d a half to go to super fabuousness. X

    • Hey guys I think your blog is the most inspirational and hilarious blog ever! I really want to connect to ask for your support. I know you must get loads. I am a domestic violence advisor who supports all high risk victims but I need a bit of help. If you can assist, please contact me. Just some backing in your own very way! If you can’t, fair enough and it wont stop me watching you guys! xxx

  2. Hi guys. Just wanna say thank you for making me laugh out loud whilst reading your stories. Its so good to finally see my sense of humour written down (I thought I was alone!!! 🙂 ) you’re recipes are bad ass, keep them comin!! Happy new year to you both (and the kitties of course!!!) Xxxx

  3. Well what a treat to wake up on a cold windy morning with a snotty cold and to find a bit of joy on a FB page that led me to your blog. Will take my mind off my female version of manflu

  4. Just laughed so hard nearly spat coffee out! So refreshing to see warm, witty humour served alongside all the (what can be) dreary SW comments ♥

  5. Just discovered you, and I can honestly say your food looks gawjus, and loving your blog, have been trying not to giggle too much as reading in bed and getting told off for shaking the bed…pmsl.

    Can’t wait to try some of your recipes or to read more of your fantastic blog, at last I find my sense of humour is not weird.

  6. I do love this blog!! Ive never blogged before so my blogging cherry is officially popped!!

    Thank you young man for bringing a smile to a fat nearly 36 year old bird 🙂

  7. Hi, I am just new to your site and Just wanted to say a very big thank you. I have never been much of a reader just because I have never had time being a mother of two a grand mother of nine and a foster mother to around sixty children over a fourth year period and never had much time for myself . that’s why I put on weight,but last September I felt it was time for me and started SW And have lost two stone. I still have a long way to go. Your stories and tails inspire me to keep on reading and to try all the lovely thing you have put on here. You make me laugh out loud and take me back to my childhood with some of the things you say. keep up the writing and keep up posting those lush meals. I wish you well. Moira

    • Two stone weight loss is bloody brilliant, well done! Doesn’t matter how far you’ve got to go, the way I see it is you’re much further along the path than you would have been if you hadn’t bothered, so that’s fantastic. Plus, what a bloody hectic life with all those children – inspiring. Which sounds bloody cheesy but I don’t care, I’d love to foster but we’re just too selfish so it’s a no-no. At least there are bigger-hearted people like you to counter our malice!

      Thanks for the kind words – it really means a lot 🙂
      J

  8. I’ve just accidentally tripped and found you! I’m hooked already and I’ve only read the ‘about us’ bit!!
    Currently loo sitting and avoiding having to put the children to bed , I’ll carry on reading!!

  9. A member at our SW group mentioned your web-site that she had just found, so you will probably get a few more followers. Loving the banter and the recipes look great – always looking for other people’s ideas. Carry on as you are and keep us happy.
    Donna

  10. Just found you guys via SW recipes on FB and nearly wet myself reading the Our Favourite Things page (woman of a certain age & all that . . . . . . . . need I say more?) so can’t wait to digest the rest! Slimming for me defo needs a bit of humour involved. Thanks guys x

    • Ah happy to help! 😀 our favourite things page could be as long as my arm, and then some, we buy gadgets like nobody’s business. Of course if it was nobody’s business I wouldn’t blather on about it…!

      Glad you’re enjoying it, and welcome! 🙂

  11. Hi iv started following your blog on Tuesday, (been on SW 3 weeks lost a stone), and I must say BRAVO to you both! I am hooked on your blog, and I am loving SW. I must admit, I have struggled this week, I work in a school and being the end of term I am tired and have craved crisps, my downfall! but iv stayed good, and when I feel I’m slipping I have read another part of your blog, and iv laughed out loud, which has stopped me eating 20 packets of crisps, so THANKYOU!!!!!! Keep up the amazing work guys. Xxxxxxx

  12. My hubby recommended this to me. He is still doing slimming world and has lost two stone something. I had to stop due to chronic health issue over a few of the points but follow it for the most part. (I still use some butter and eat ice cream). Am just finding my way about and love what I’ve seen so far. Not a cub but understand the “boss” bit as that is what Paul fancies himself.

    • Ah thank you! I have to admit, we don’t follow it to the letter – we’re taking a much more relaxed attitude to it after trying and failing so many times over the years when we were too strict. Slow and steady is our aim and it seems, for the most part, to be working! I hope you keep reading and don’t forget to keep us updated with how you’re getting on 🙂

      P

  13. I’ve just discovered your wonderful blog, and your super speedy soup post made me laugh so hard I actually cried. Thank you for bringing fabulousness and humour to the sometimes po-faced world of diet blogs! “Singeing your knickers” – snigger. Love it!

  14. Well, this is exciting.
    I was excited enough to find the 18 websites on the Internet with actual men talking about Slimming World… but to find actual gay men just makes this even more relevant.
    I’ve got 94 days until Manchester Pride & I would like to be able to wear checks one year without everyone assuming I’m a butch ‘lesbinum’.
    I’ve also got the horrifying reality of my impending 30th to contend with. I’ve always told myself I would be skinny by the time I’m 30. Do not worry though – I’ve decided I’m going to turn 25 this time instead, it should give me a little breathing room.
    Thanks for the lol’s.
    CK x

    • Judging by what people are searching to find this blog, slimming is the last thing on their list (seemingly) so it’s nice to actually have a slimmer looking for us! Hooray! And hello! Check is great – our entire wardrobe looks like a criss-cross test card when you slide open the doors. I like to think it helps blur the edges in groups, like herds of zebras in the wild. I wouldn’t worry too much about looking like a lesbian – unless you’re knuckle-deep in a charlady called Kat you should be alright. I’d be more worried about skirting the fine line between cubhood and bearhood – we’ve only just graced the fringes of the latter and it’s taking some getting used to. Thanks for reading, and don’t forget – we have a Facebook group too! P 🙂

  15. Great & funny blog and thanks for making the recipes seem easy and look good at the same time. I lost 3 stone on SW last year, but all back on now….. Your blog has given me the encouragement to try again, so here goes, signing up this week to new SW group. Wish me luck!

    • Woo! Brilliant work – you’ll never look back, I promise you. Plus you know it works! It’ll come right off as long as you just take it slowly and enjoy yourself. Best of luck to you and thank you for the lovely kind words 🙂 x

  16. You guys rock ! I stumbled across you literally by accident and I find your humour refreshing. I’m a truck driver who works nights and am often found delivering to the (back door) no pun intended! And laughing out loud whilst reading your awesome anecdotes !!! I’m planning on staying in a Travelodge soon solely for the purpose of obtaining a purple sheet and a side cabinet to go with your new bed! If you receive a sizeable object in the post … !!! Keep up the amazing work…. You make me actively search my inbox for your latest offerings. Cheers guys … I want to get everyone in group to follow you as well but I fear that some of the ‘ladies’ would not approve! (Titter,titter!)

    Mwah xxx

    • Bloody hell how did I miss this in my comments queue!

      I’d bloody love to be a truck driver I think though it means being away from Paul all the time. He’s currently very flatulent so might not be such a bad thing…!

      Just address any offerings to The Sticky Patch and it’ll probably find it’s way here. I expect at least a sticky menu for a Harvester!

      And get the whole group involved. If they don’t like it, fuck ’em!
      JX

  17. Hi I often read your blogs to my partner, even on holiday we would read them in the evening over a beer, so so funny and deadly accurate, I have now purchased your book, which I can’t wait to read, your recipies are superb with easy to follow instructions, if I don’t loose the weight I will certainly have enjoyed trying thanks to you both, x

    • Thank you! We’re so pleased you’re enjoying it, our aim was always to make people laugh, and to make decent food that people would want to eat so we’re glad that you like it! You should totally buy your partner his own copy of the book, and keep us in Frylight 😉 don’t forget to keep us updated!

  18. I’ve stumbled across your blog by accident, looking for the Tater Tots recipe (Which i’m currently preparing for tea!)
    Its hilarious!!! I’ve just noticed a reference to Peterborough on your page, which is where I live. Which group do you both go to??

    • Glad you’re enjoying it! I’m (Paul) originally from Yaxley (the shame!) but now we’re up North, we attend a group in Newcastle 🙂

  19. Well, I’ve never smiled so much. Like a few others I have found you by chance and I’m so pleased I have. You are so funny, thank you. I work nights and I am always looking for new recipes to help me. To have your humorous blog as well is a bonus. I had lost nearly 3 1/2 St but got complacent, shot myself in the foot, (not literally lol) and am now starting again. It certainly goes on a darned sight quicker than it does taking it off! Thanks again for brightening up my work night x

    • Ah well ain’t you a sweetie! Working nights is a pain. I did it for years and just got even fatter so I feel your pain! Let us know what you think of them and keep us updated!

  20. So I have just found this blog (driven to searching owing to being bored feckless on a train). Congrats because you’ve made me laugh so I hard, I look mental!! It has the added bonus feature of giving me loads of space because people won’t come near manically cackling! Saved this as a favourite on my phone and I know what I’m having for dinner – turkey basil mince!
    Cheers!

  21. Have only just discovered your blog, I love, love, love it!!!! I haven’t laughed so much in a long time and your recipes are good too.

    • Thanks very much! So glad that you’re enjoying it! Don’t forget to keep us updated, and let us know what you think of the recipes! 😀

  22. You guys just make me howl laughing. I was born in the States, brought up in Scotland and now live back in Texas. I miss that fabulous sense of humor that Glaswegians in particular have. The recipes look delicious but I don’t cook…

  23. When I want a good cheering up. When I need inspiration for mealtime. I can turn to you and be satisfied. Thank you so much. I have never laughed so much. Love the banter. I know it’s weird but when I read your blog I hear the hairy bikers voices in my head. ????

  24. Just found your blog and laughed, laughed, laughed! Lovely to read fellow ‘geordie’s’ twitter on about daily issues in a hilarious way and I love your recipes. x

  25. I’ve finally found what I’ve been looking for, looking forward to delving deeper, I’ve been faffing about with SW for long enough. xx

  26. Got sent your link by by my slimming buddy in Scotland and she is as mad as me – hysterical reading and great recipes. Look forward to the updates. David – Mr Furry of London

  27. You two are bloody hilarious! The Corsica post distracted me from eating left over Halloween sweets which is a bonus. Going to attempt one of your recipes at some point and hopefully do it justice. Still laughing about the sphincter and the peg ????

  28. So glad I stumbled upon this whilst browsing Facebook this morning. I’ve been going to Slimming World on and off for 13 years, maybe if there had been support and blogs like this back in the day it might not have taken me that long to reach target.
    Will be giving some of your recipes a whirl this week for sure…….thank you 🙂

  29. I’m in Australia backbacking and this has given me inspiration to continue slimming world whilst out here. In between all the amazing meals and cocktails of course!! (ooooops) It helps that the blog is friggin hilair. Love it!

  30. I can’t even read any of the recipes yet … Can’t get past the blog posts ???? This is such an amazingly funny, honest, no holes barred blog and I love it. Just read the blog before the kfc recipe and I was in hysterics. Well written and funny. I’m definitely going to have to keep reading … though I will try my best to get to the recipes x

  31. Are you the same James and Paul that did The Big Gay Honeymoon and are on the Dibb? I’m sure it’s you 🙂 Love your blog and thank you for some fantastic recipes x

  32. Have just found this site and after the Christmas excesses it is just what I need, thanks guys for the recipe suggestions I shall certainly be trying some.look forward to hearing more from you. Ps love the cats but I have a cat hating Westie called Tess.

  33. I’m new to reading blogs but this is by far and away one of the funniest things I’ve ever read… And of course extremely helpful in the recipe department.. Is there anyway I can make sure I get all your updates… I’ve tried to follow but it keeps wanting me to set up a blogging account… I can talk. Jesus can I talk. .. But I’m no blogger…!!! How do I get regular updates please or do I just save the web page and log in everyday.. I do already follow your facebook site….! Thanks in advance for your help! Xx

    • Hi!

      There’s a follow me button somewhere – on the right or at the bottom, but I’ll do it for you because your email address came through this way – so you’ll get a nice email every time we publish! And thank you 😀

      • Thank you so much.. I did find it after I posted my comment!!! Would have paid me to look properly to start with eh!!! Lol Xx

  34. You guys have me in stitches and I’m only on the about me page! Looking forward to reading the rest. Thank you for all the effort put into the blog, it looks amazing! X

  35. By far the BEST slimming world blog I have ever read! I started slimming world just before my birthday in Nov 2015 and in 5 weeks I lost 16lb. I want to lose 4 or 5 stone before my wedding in August this year and then after the wedding I want to lose another 4 stone….. And keep it off forever. Keep up the good work fellas! x

  36. Hi. I have just discovered your blog by complete accident. I have laughed so much reading it I almost had to fetch the free Tena lady Sample my mother thought it would be funny to send me!! Anyhoo….My Husband is a SW member, after weighing in at 20stone 18 months ago, he has gone on to lose 71/2 stone. As I’m the main cook in the house, I like to find the recipes of nice stuff for us to eat, and I think your recipes may just hit the spot :-). I’m looking forward to checking in regularly for inspiration, or should I say ‘thinspiration’!! (forgive the shite joke “cringey blushes”). Thanks guys xx

  37. Hi guys just discovered this blog on our local slimming world site . As feisty Scottish redhead living in Yorkshire feeling fat and bored and no alcohol to cheer me up , I have found the antidote…..chubby cubs . You should however come with a warning for the over 50’s women that your blog may control such uncontrollable laughter that tenna pads may be necessary . Keep up the blogging

  38. I just found this blog and bugger me(well, not literally), it’s as camp as a row of freekin tents….I love it. Reading this is better than a feature length GoggleBox. Must dash – have got tears running down my legs. Keep up the good work fellas!

  39. I discovered your blog yesterday after a friend shared it on Facebook and i LOVE it! I used to work for Sainsbury’s Magazine and would get sick of the same virtuous blogs without personality so i’m pleased to discover this. Plus i dabble with a bit of Slimming World so i guess the kick-starting process has begun…time to get back on the wagon. I still work in the food business so would love to keep an eye on your guys 😉

    • Oooh Leanne, thank you! Kind words. That’s just it, we were sick of seeing the same old tut being pushed out via blogs, so thought we’d at least try a bit of personality! Hope we can help you! Feel free to get your contacts at Sainsbury’s to give us a column. Really we’re just the edge it needs! 😀

  40. My friend introduced me to this blog less than five minutes ago; I’m already in love with you both and I LOVE your style of writing! Will give your FB page a like as well, cannot wait to try your recipes and read more!

  41. Love this blog. It’s exactly what the doctor ordered. Been looking for new SW ideas and here they are, looking lovely and with hilarious commentary too. Wish I’d have known about you earlier but you’re firmly bookmarked now.

  42. Can’t believe you’ve been on here for 2 years and I’ve just found you!! I seriously nearly wet myself today reading the blog before the turkey and leek bake – so bloody funny! Thank you for making losing weight more fun! Brilliant! x

  43. Having succeeded with slimming world and then failed hang my head in shame!! Having read your blog / recipes I feel new enthusiasm yes! Yes! I can do it again. Once the Xmas sweets are gone of course, some still hanging around ? I have decided to give it another go there commitment of a sort In there somewhere. Keep up the good work makes me smile when I read your blog down to earth and honest !!!xx

  44. Love it…. my friend just sent me this link and I just know I’m gonna enjoy my SW shit even more now, thank you… ps is it ok to swear cos I do rather have a synful potty mouth 🙂

  45. Move over Hairy Dieters – the Chubby Cubs have arrived. Such fun! The scan bran post is inspired – literally cried trying to read it out to hubs. Xx

  46. I discovered your wonderful blog whilst browsing how to do some tasty as owt overnight oats…soooo glad I did!! I’ve been chuckling ever since and definitely feel inspired 🙂 this will be my erm 7th or 8th time back at SW in the last few years- I was a big WW (sorry!) advocate previously until they started faffing with it too much. This time I’ve paid for a 12 week count down to force, I mean encourage me to go! Fingers crossed money spent and you guys for company I’ll get this 2 stone off!
    Thanks very much, big bear hugs (>”)> <("<) x

    • Whoo! You can do it 😀 and thank you for the kind words! Doesn’t matter how many times you start, it’s just the finishing that matters. Hopefully that’ll have made your teeth rot so much you’ll not be able to eat cake! x

  47. Ive only read the ‘About Us’ page and I’m crying with laughter! I can see this is going to be a brilliantly funny blog which will inspire and and cheer me up in equal measures 🙂 xx

  48. I’ve tried quite a few of your recipes and they are really good, especially the slow cooker lasagne/lasagna which was cooked last night and now in the freezer.
    Thank you for great recipes and a great laugh along the way 🙂

  49. I have just stumbled upon this looking for slimming world recipes. You two are hilarious sod the recipes just wanna read your humorous offerings lols X

  50. well just happened across your blog and – yes the humour appeals (which isn’t really a good thing if you listen to my wife!) and the weight loss issues I empathise with as well. I suspect the one main issue is portion control and a love of cream cakes/cakes in general and a love of takeaways and a serial hater (though a cereal lover) of exercise and a (as you can tell apart from being a greedy git I can’t really count)…

    PS Sola looks awesome

  51. Thank to. Pintrest, I’ve just found you and even though I’m not a SW member I’m ‘sort of’ following the plan in preparation for this year’s Moonwalk.
    So far me hubby has asked me at least 3 times what I’m laughing about as I’ve been reading the blogs that go along with the recipes.
    If nothing else you made me want me want to cook sync free low fat food so I can keep reading about d laughing.

    Well done gentlemen!! Keep writing and cooking,

    JJ xx

  52. Dear Chubby Cubs,
    You guys are hilarious. I don’t do Slimming World but love your recipes anyway. So pleased to have found you. xx

    Sheila

  53. I am LOVING this blog!!! Stumbled across it when someone in my slimming world group liked your page on fb and it’s the best stumble ever! I’ve been going to slimming world for 3 years now, lost 6 and a half stone but it’s started creeping back on since I’ve gone back to university. This is perfect to get me back on track! Off out now to get the ingredients for slow cooker lasagne. Thanks guys, laughing along with you makes it SO much easier! xxx

  54. I can’t stop laughing long enough to make the recipies, keep up the brilliant work lads, I’ve been on my “journey” for about 3 years only usually thwarted by real ale and phaal curries

  55. I just came across your blog whilst looking for an overnight oats recipes. I used to love my smoothies for breakfast. Even though I think they are very healthy, starting slimming world last week has made me see that they are not 🙁 love your blog it has really made me laugh. May make this weight loss journey for my wedding bearable!

  56. Well, this has been the most fun I’ve ever had reading a blog. I normally avoid them like the plague, especially food blogs *yawn*!

    This has been an absolute riot of a read and the recipes aren’t bad either lol.

    Fabulous! Keep up the excellent work ?

  57. As ever I’m late to this party (story of my life). Have mascara streaming un-fetchingly down my face and I haven’t even looked at a recipe yet. Funniest thing I’ve read this year. Love it. x

  58. only just found your blog and I can honestly say funniest thing I’ve read in years! I’m a Blakelaw lass so get the whole jist of your crack and really unless your from Newcastle and can imagine the accent and tone I don’t think you can really appreciate how funny you two are! Would love to have a night out with you two !! Would be the best night ever I would guess? I nearly peed myself at your photo of your cat doing an impression of lieutenant dan on the nursing home carpet hilarious !! Will be a daily visitor to your blog from now on …. I month into slimming world and lost 6 lbs by its bloody slow!!! Tara for now xxx

  59. I have just had the best laugh on this dull and overcast Sunday morning !!! subscribed instantly..couldn’t resist, love the way you think and write, and oh, can’t wait to try out some recipes, might even drag myself around the supermarket later !!
    Looking forward to reading more. 🙂

  60. Hey guys
    Absolutely crying with laughter reading your blog. Sooooooooo funny. You have really made my day & cheered me up no end.
    They should consider the publication of your blog on prescription.
    Starting the S/W programme AGAIN in 1 week. Counting down and enjoying eating up the unhealthy stuff !
    Continued success guys and well done.

  61. oh wow you two are awesome!! Ive just started at SW as i was at target 6 month ago but a sneaky stone has come back on and in need of a kick up the bum! Love your posts and looking forward to trying out your numerous recipes! Good on ya’s! 🙂

  62. Having wiped the laughter snorting wetness from my nose and the tears from my streaming eyes from laughter, I will now plan my SW week with renewed vigor (and try and stick to it this time!!!) Thanks for the laughs and the recipes lads….I’ll be back 🙂

  63. Ever just read something someone has written and think that you’d be the best of friends in real life? Just happened. Honestly not a weirdo though.

    Hilarious guys! Just found my favourite thing!

  64. Yep have to agree with the majority, you both make SW bearable and yes I will be buying your book and making sure my group keeps up with your site. Inspiring weight loss chart! Love recipes but you are so funny, love the narrative.

  65. Hi Guys
    I discovered your blog yesterday and I am addicted already.
    Thank you so much for all the recipes as well as your funny stories. I started SW in Jan and need to explore recipes so I am really excited to have a read through your posts.
    Can I also ask, I have logged onto Muscle food and it says your meat deal is out of stock. Do they still sell your Deal or has it stopped? I didn’t know how old the deal was.
    Again, thanks for your inspiration 🙂

    • Hey Kath!

      Firstly, thank you for your lovely words 🙂 they mean a lot! Our box is pretty popular so it’ll be out of stock but only for a day or so. However, our freezer box which is mince, chicken, bacon and beef strips is still in stock and delivered, works out at only a fiver more if that is of interest? You’ll find that here: http://bit.ly/1pg9fxo thank you!

      • Thanks so much for this. I will have a look. Just read the blog with the cat slapping!! We have 5 in this house and I am sure one of those will be a slapper lol!!
        Take care 🙂

  66. Omg why have I not found you before… even if i only lose weight by peeing myself laughing.
    Can I adopt you? moggies too.
    Let the entertainment begin.

  67. Happy Easter to both of you. Love your site, lost 24 pounds in six weeks. Hope you are both plodding on nicely in your weightloss journey, as a fellow Geordie, born and bred in shieldfield, now married and living in gatehsead it I’d brill to have a insight into your world, you are both fab and obviously love each other to bits ( no not each other’s bits x). Keep up the good work, only one request pretty please, for some reason your weight loss graphs and your totally innocent knob thermometers are really blurry, could just be I am pissed, but it is only twenty past ten in the morning!

  68. Hah just found you thanks to a friend. I’ve only read your “About” page at the mo but I like what I see so I’ll be lurking and looking at all your recipes pretty soon!

  69. Oh Lord!!! Not got past the ‘About Us’ and I’ve got tears streaming down my legs!!! I may be able to lose a few stone whilst checking out the back posts, cos I don’t think I’m going to leave my seat (not even for a Curly Wurly (6syns!!!!)) until I have done. Then I’m going to subscribe. Looking forward to this!!! X

  70. Great job lads, love you both, Straight as a Die (well bent as a four bob piece), hows the weight loss journey going. Weigh night (or walk of shame night) tonight, 22 gone in seven weeks.

  71. This has been such a helpful blog . Week 3 of my slimming world plan and your recipes have been amazing !! not to mention my daily dose of weightloss humour to keep myself going . Lisa x

  72. What can I say, loving the blog. My husband keeps wondering why I’m sitting chuckling away. Love the recipes and the way it’s set out. I’m a serial slimming world attendee but to be honest think I’m a bit half hearted but it’s time to be serious, and with your assistance I feel confident that this time I’ll crack it. Keep up the fantastic work, and thank you so much for the giggles x

  73. Hi. Wondered where my favourite ‘laugh out loud’ blog had gone to, as it hasn’t appeared on my laptop for a week or more. Only to discover that ‘my email address’ has opted out of receiving it. I didn’t do it, honestly!! How do I resubscribe?

  74. Guys – THANK YOU! for your remarkable wit, intelligence, sense of humour and above all fantastic story telling skills. I stumbled across your Facebook page by accident and was immediately hooked. I made the mistake of reading the “story” before the egg curry recipe while sat in the dentist waiting room and literally wet my knickers laughing … earned me quite a few funny looks from the wench with the hose thingy!!

    Off on holibobs Friday and both books duly purchased and downloaded on the the old iPad. Expect I’ll be guffawing quite a bit on the flight 🙂

  75. Really looking forward to following you guys on my weight loss journey…. the one I have begun on numerous occassions.

    You really made me smile when i read your comments.

    Wish me luck and i am looking forward to trying some of your recipes.

  76. How have I not heard of this blog before. You were mentioned in our SW group last night and I just thought I would have a peek and see what you 2 were about. Hilarious !! I am a target memeber currently in the zone of yo-yo ing in and out of it and blaming everyone and everything else but myself. My latest excuse is that I ran the London marathon so that means I can have a continuos feast for the last four weeks just because I burnt off all those calories!!! I need help and hopefully I will be inspired with your recipes.

  77. OMG I can’t believe how gorgeous and scrumpy your recipes are…..I stumbled upon your chilli stuffed easydilla last week on pintrest and made it for the family and then had to make it again 2 days later for the hubster to take to work on night shift for his mates!!!! Last night I made your one pot Malaysian chicken with a side of your spring rolls….absolutely the best we’ve ever tasted! !!! Love your articles too…..soooooo funny, please don’t lose too much weight or you’ll stop waiting these brilliant blogs and recipes!!!

  78. Me and my lad are getting married on 1st July (THIS year!!!) and need to shift a few pounds. I’m not expecting miracles, but having already lost 4.5 stone on SW (and basically putting it all back on again) I know I can get at least a bit off, and your recipes are mint.

    Thanks for putting all this together, and for doing it in such a lighthearted, canny way!

    • Ah you’re welcome! Thank YOU for reading, it’s you lot and your kind comments that stop us from going full-on Chawner! 🙂

  79. Hi! Great to have found your site, thought Fopperholic had mentioned it but can’t find the post again with the link. Anyway haven’t got round to looking at too many of the recipes yet spending more time laughing at the blog. I’ve come back to Slimming World after a 20 year break, first time round I lost 5½ Stone and then gradually piled it all back on again (and more!). Rejoined last year and have lost 5½ Stone again but have a little bit further to go this time. Seems less rigorous this time round and I am enjoying it more. I must be a seasoned campaigner now as another who resorts to Almond milk about once a week for one of my HE choices. I’m a fairly lazy cook and only push the boat out for the taster nights – with one coming up next week. Nice to get your explanation about tweeks as I was told last time that my raspberry roulade wasn’t really ½ a syn as it involved a tweek.
    Looking forward to the next installment of your blog.

  80. Was it something I said or did I disappear my own post when I asked my computer to clear my internet history just so it could keep up with my one fingered typing? Anyway I’m still here and looking forward to trying out some of the recipes. Got some shocked stares in M&S this afternoon when on finding a couple of packets of those mini lemon meringues I let out a little whoop. I had feared that such delicacies might not be stocked here in the North.

  81. One can lose weight doing SW and get stomach muscles through laughing when reading your Abous Us and Blog! Brilliant! I’ve been pissing myself laughing for hours and completely forgot that I wanted chocolate. Thank god I got fat or I never would have discovered you! Thank you for brightening my evening and I’m sure many more to come x

  82. Ohhh What fun …I have just found your blog ..and I need to loose weight after a glorious outing since February in the camper van..whose name is Hetty Hymer.. to Gozo in the Maltese Islands and back..I like SW but haven’t joined a club as yet ..I have most of the recipes and Syn book ..so lets have fun with your recipes and the very funny blog

  83. I just love your blog! Having spent my first year in the UK living in Morpeth (after moving from Ireland) I love the random references that remind me of that time (like the Chinese van in the car park by the leisure centre 🙂 ) Love the recipes too, they are super for helping my SW journey. Keep up the good work and thank you!

  84. Brilliant posts, I too am a stumbler onto your blog ( you got pinned on Pinterest) and as a fat(ish) Geordie lass(Auld Woman really) this is hysterical. I say “Fat(ish)” because I have lost a good 7+stone but still have 2 to go and by another diet and probably one which will get a lot of prune faces look as though they’re sucking lemons in disapproval BUT no matter how you lose the weight we all have that daily fight to keep the stuff off. Looking forward to all your posts and of course the recipes.

  85. ?Hi guys, I’ve just found your blog and love it, it’s the best read ever, you put the fun into loosing weight so I thank you for that and for all the work you put into the blog. I’m new to SW and trying to do it on my own rather than go to those groups…I don’t do groups…..please keep the recipes coming, I’m going to be working through the lot of them.??
    Tracy

  86. Brand new to slimming world and your fabulous blog. Am feckin loving it – I wanna be your fag hag xx

  87. I have to say your blog has so cheered me up at work. As an Estrogen deficient and hormonally challenged female (I blame my mother ) I have found my self in early menopause and growing what i can only describe as a buoyancy aid around my middle!!!! So with a broken thermostat ,middle age and its unyielding insults I could possibly spontaneously combust quite soon. Anyhooo I love your blog, and your recipes and as SW NEWBIE…do you have any thoughts on a daily or weekly food plan to guide me as my brain has been taken over by the menopause.

    Bernie

  88. OMG!! The funniest thing I’ve read since (nearly) forever!! I’m a Chef and to help my Daughter lose weight I’ve become Slimming World’s answer to ‘Diet Chef’!! I’m knackered!! You keep me ‘rolling’ in the aisles with laughter (must lose more weight) and your recipes are a breath of fresh air. You have my sense of humour. Carry on the good work.

  89. I did slimming world in the UK and found it was good but I never kept it up because I couldn’t be arsed to go to the meetings having only lost a minimal amout of weight. Now I am in Oz for a couple of years I am trying to follow a slimming world ish kind of diet. Alcohol is my weakness. I stumbled across your blog looking for breakfast recipes and I LOVE IT!! I love the honesty and they way you talk, like you are in the same room and don’t give a shit. I am going to spread your blog to as many people I can. As I have read on Facebook, my new years resolution was to lose 25 Kilos this year. Only 30 Kilos to go!!

    • Haha, ah thank you so much! Let us know how you get on! Only thing is though we’ll be starting up a Cocktails section so I hope it doesn’t knock you off kilter! 😀

  90. OMG!!! My daughter told me to look at a blog called Twochubbycubs and I realised I’d come across it a few weeks ago but didn’t have time to check it out properly… Well I did today & I’m so glad I did! I love, love, love yours and Paul’s blog James.. Your wit is hilarious and I can see me staying up to stupid O’clock over the next few days/weeks trying to read all your previous older blogs ? My daughter and I join slimming world a week ago today & have our first weigh in in a few hours so fingers crossed.. She has 1 and 1/2 stone to lose, but I have seen whopping 11 stone to shed so I have a bit of a journey ahead of me.. Your blog is gonna be a great help and the recipes are amazing.. From one cat lover (and budding writer) to another, Keep up the great work hun. xxx

  91. I frigging love this site and have been reading some of the best bits out loud to my long-suffering partner. Thank you for showing that SW doesn’t have to be just salads and fruit all the time, I really needed some motivation and I’ve found it in a snazzy, hilarious format! Much love from the UK xo

  92. Thank you for making me laugh. I must have list a pound just chuckling at your various comments.
    I’m struggling to stay on track purely because of getting bored with lunch choices. Your posts have given me the excuse to keep on track again.
    Thanks!

  93. Hi there. Just wanted to say that your blog has made our lives so much simpler since we joined SW. Brilliantly fun to read too…makes the whole experience easier. Lol. Oh and Y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶r̶e̶c̶i̶p̶e̶s̶ ̶a̶r̶e̶ ̶s̶o̶ ̶m̶u̶c̶h̶ ̶n̶i̶c̶e̶r̶ ̶t̶h̶a̶n̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶S̶l̶i̶m̶m̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶W̶o̶r̶l̶d̶ ̶o̶n̶e̶s̶ ̶w̶e̶’̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶r̶i̶e̶d̶ we can’t wait to try more. Just wondering…and this is merely a cheeky request so you can tell me to get knotted. Would there be any way to add sauces in an individual section above? I know this is more work on your part rather than mine (hence cheeky) but it would be so easy to skip through/mix and match. Just a thought. Thanks and keep up the ace work!

  94. Well…I went looking for meatballs (Googled syn value of) but found you two instead! There’s a subliminal message there I think! I should be out looking for the last cans of my Sure deodorant this country has before Unilever pulls the plug on it but instead, having found you, I can’t stop reading. So funny. Consider yourself bookmarked!!

  95. Just found your site, love it x
    I am an ex SW consultant from Cyprus, yes SW is in Cyprus. The group I was running was fab and I loved it, but reality is I was in the villages with not enough members so it was costing me each week to run it. The Larnaca consultant was leaving so I asked to move groups but know as my group was so small I was not allowed. So they trained a new consultant! Another £1000 for SW for the franchise! Hence I left not impressed, which is a real shame as one I loved it & twi I believe in it every bit. So its great to see someone making things more available in a fun way. Thanks xx

    • Ah that is a shame, we seem to be getting quite a lot of followers from Cyprus so hopefully we’re doing some good out there in paradise! 🙂

  96. I was doing some innocent research on whether to join Slimming World when I stumbled across your blog. I can honestly say that from your blog / recipes and comments that I was cannon-balled over by how amazing you guys have turned what can only be described as ‘dieting hell’ into an exciting journey ahead. I have been reading out loud some of your sentences to the office and have convinced a few others to join too. Cheers Chubby Cubbys!

  97. Omg I cannot believe i have reached the enormous age I am without finding this blog. You are just amazing and I think I’m in love! Recipes are pretty damned good too. Keep at it, and keep the laughter rolling, as dieting is now way more fun.

  98. Please let me follow your deliciousness (is that a word, autocorrect thinks it is and who am I to disagree)

  99. Oh wow how have I not found your blog before?! Let’s face it dieting is rubbish – who wouldn’t choose to smash a pizza and a bottle of wine if it was calorie free? But I’m committed to shedding some pounds and am really pleased to have found someone as blunt and sweary about it as I am. Your commentary on the overnight oats made me laugh so much my colleagues want to know what I’m doing. Working strenuously obviously…ahem.

    Loving your work, looking forward to reading more 🙂

  100. SW has changed my life…having struggled since forever, SW has changed my eating habits for the better. Now, 4 stone lighter i’m a happy bunny but was starting to get a little bored with what I was eating. Thank god I found your site….excellent recipes and some great tales splashed with plenty of colourful language 🙂 Thanks boys!

  101. I think I love you two.

    This blog has turned my SW journey around. Thank YOU!

    Made the beef in black bean sauce two nights on the trot. And lunch for today. IN LOVE.

    Thank you! x

  102. omg I love you guys x x x
    God help me – I am just starting out on my journey with SW

    I’ve just returned to the UK to look after mam and dad and had to lave my lovely man back in the antipodes
    No pressure then!

    Looking forward to my newsfeed being filled with your glorious selves!
    CT

  103. Just saw the link to your blog on Facebook and went straight to the “about us” page. It made me laugh so much I woke my snoring husband up!! I’m in love already, can’t wait to read more and try the recipes too xXx ?

  104. Love this !!
    I found you just now, looking for a skinny Chicken Tikka recipe having just found
    a truly vast chunk of forgotten Chocolate Malteser cake down the back of the fridge
    and rammed it down in to my throat instead of in to the bin.
    Then I see that you canny lads are local!!!
    Fabaroony!! Look out I’l be stalking you…or your recipes…or both, so
    watch out next time you’re in Barter Books…no I’m not the one
    looking through the arty books with no pics,
    I’m the one working out the syn value of what I’m planning to
    make for tea tonight whilst simultaneously scoffing my way
    through one of their Mr Universe sized full fat bacon sarnies in their cafe.

    • Nice one! If you see two fat benders flinging up the A19 in a Smart car it’ll most probably be us! Don’t ram us off the road! Cheers for reading!

  105. This is brilliant! Came across your page looking for slimming world recipes to get me in shape for Christmas!
    Hilarious writing and I can’t wait to read through the recipes!
    From a chubby little Scotsman :o)

  106. Well done for such a lighthearted, yet down to earth look into the world of unwanted fat and flab. I have lost quite a bit of my lardyness over the last two years and now thanks to you I am venturing this week to my local Slimming World class to eliminate the last of the wobbly bits
    As a Geordie in exile ( for over 40 years ) in a part of south East England where fun boils down to falling of your Polo pony or shopping at Bluewater I am now hooked on your blog for my daily fix of helpful humour .

  107. I’ve just discovered your blog and I have to say it’s the funniest thing I’ve read in ages! I think I’m obsessed! I’ve been debating joining slimming world for a while now and I think you may have just helped me decide! I look forward to exploring the site fully, although at this rate you’ll keep me up all night! ?

  108. Great site, I have just read a small amount and am already hooked , thank you guys you have made me laugh so much today x
    Keep up the good work,

  109. I’ve joined your Christmas Challenge but can’t find where I can comment on it… Thought you might like to know that I lost 7lbs in my first week, and Himself lost 8lbs!
    Mind you, my loss is not that fab really as in the last few weeks I’d put on quite a bit, so that half stone is sort of bringing me back to where I was, if you see what I mean. But Himself’s loss is all absolutely genuine and a great start to the three stone he needs to shift.
    I’m going to make the corned beef gratin tonight, only with mince rather than homemade corned beef (as I don’t have any…) and we have a large bag of sprouts just begging to be eaten. Also have a large cabbage that we were given, so I will be searching your recipes for ways to make that a bit more exciting.
    Keep up the good work chaps! And thanks for the humour in your blogs, it’s all very much appreciated.

  110. Hi James, Paul and moggies
    Brilliant blog, I snorted so many times and so loudly my cat (Orbit) fell off the sofa in great alarm. Naturally I blame you for the injured look she now keeps throwing me :). I love the recipe page, so beautifully ordered under the pretty icon thingies and look forward to trying them all out. Am no great shakes in the kitchen so if I live, I’ll report back.

  111. Not long back after a fabulous break in Tenerife…pesky holiday blubber followed me home though…sob, sniff, wail ? So i was on a mission to shed a pound or twenty, when the baby jesus has led me to you, ahh the lord works in mysterious ways huh ? I have a severe case of the holiday blues but you have tickled my tonsils & made me laugh so much it makes my jiggly bits wobble even more, gonna have to wear two sports bras at the same time to keep things er um under control. You are an absolute tonic, thank you from the heart of my bottom ( take it from me thats a mighty big thank you ) ???

  112. Found your blog by chance and have read it all. Fabulous !!! So funny, so inspirational and so so honest love it !!!
    I am laid up with a broken foot and today have eaten my way 1/2 way through a tub of Roses so my thoughts turn to slimming world !!!
    Maybe tomorrow a new start ??? One thing will I will be doing is following the blog ! Will keep an eye out in Eldon Square for you !! Lol

  113. After scaring the shit out of myself when weighing my suitcase (no, that can’t be right…wait, it must be the shoes I packed…erm, no that will be me then..) I decided to take matters in hand (meow) and search for slimming world recipes.

    I now have precisely 7 days to lose half my bodyweight or if I am being realistic lose ANY weight before my jollys.

    Loved your no nonsense approach and hope to use your recipes to chuckle myself slimmer (failing that I may have to take the sex and drugs route…)

  114. Hi guys, I’m new to your blog and new to SW but I have to say I haven’t laughed so much in a long while; you crack me up! I’m English but live in the USA nowadays and just started SW online over here, which is not as well known as the UK. The nice thing about your blog is that I totally get your jokes but my co-workers give me strange looks and wonder why I’m busting out laughing. This of course is on the odd occasion I take a sneaky peak at your blog while the workload is slow…..right hehe!
    I look forward to reading more and trying the delicious recipes you have posted, keep up the great work 🙂

    • Ah that’s nice to hear! I hope we help to bring a little slice of home to you – even if it is just the whingeing 😉

  115. Like many others I stumbled onto this site – so glad I did. I was feeling totally despondent after blending every fruit known to man to speed up the metabolism so I could lose a stone by weekend 😉 to find that by mashing them I would probably be better eating my own weight in walnut whips !!!

    This site is soooo amusing and very informative – Thank you for the recipes and the link to MF not to mention the giggles.
    xx

  116. Someone at our SW group just shared once of your recipes, so had to click and have a nosey at your blog! I can see now why they follow you!
    Nearly choked on my cuppa and HiFi Bar (Actually it was a Mint Aero – my bad!) Had a quick look at your recipes too and I will definitely be trying some. Really made my day, finding this blog!

  117. After a week away with copious amounts of eating, drinking and general over indulgence (and discovering the snaffling pig pork scratchings, delicious but let’s face it – you’re eating a pigs cellulite!), i have been considering joining sw and joined a few Facebook groups – but I wasn’t prepared for the tweak warriors, syn police and general bitchiness. I stumbled across your website tonight while looking for a recipe and have spent hours looking through your posts and chuckling away to myself, so moving forward i think chubby cubs will be my ‘go to’ place, I love your no nonsense real life approach, I mean what’s the cracking with mashing a banana for God’s sake – it’s final destination is the same! So thank you for making me laugh (and inadvertently keeping me away from the kids kets) and here’s to getting shot of the extra flab x x

  118. Hi, saw a mention of your recipes on my local SW group site. Thought I’ll have a look, but wasn’t expecting much. How wrong I was, love the blog, the recipes, you guys are great to do this, thanks so much for brightening up my day/life!! Will be trying your recipes from tomorrow. Keep up the good work.

  119. Chubby cubs you guys are hilarious! Nice to see a more humorous take on the toils of Slimming World ? I would love to spend an evening with you two propped up in a bar somewhere having the best laugh ever, actually I’d probably fall off the stool laughing ?

  120. Well, what can I say?
    Except…
    Who needs to join SW when you are here? I really don’t like the idea of going to weekly meetings that resemble AA… “Hi, my name is Lynsay and it’s been 6 hours since my last syn!”
    You guys are great, I think I’m going to enjoy trying your recipes, losing a bit of stodge and I know I’m definitely going to have a giggle along the way xx

  121. Hi Guys, I just came across your blog. It’s brilliant, I have been laughing out loud and will be sending a link to my son who is with me on the SW journey. I have been browsing the recipes and will be trying one tomorrow. Meatballs and dressed spaghetti I think, sounds yummy.
    Love the Christmas tree but winced at the pain you went through to get it looking so beautiful.
    It is such a refreshing change to find something so hilarious as your blog when searching “Syn free recipes + chicken, pork, beef etc….”
    Can’t wait to read more but my ribs have been tickled enough for tonight.
    Keep up the good work!!

  122. I’ve just joined slimming world ( again!!) and typed in sw recipes and found this….. ??? amazing , I’m loving your recipes but it’s your words I love the most, am going to be on here all the time now instead of playing candy crush X

  123. Hi I have done Slimming world recipes in the past but for the last 2 years i have been gluten, wheat free because of IBS would love to have some gluten free recipes. love you blogs well done x

  124. Just stumbled across this and found it very amusing. There were several elements that made me fondly think of home and was wondering if you guys are from Carlisle?

  125. Well done, loving the site and just about to order a meat hamper. Recipe ideas are great, I have been doing SW for 2 years at target for 18 months, it’s so easy to get stuck in a rut with the same foods all the time, thanks for opening my eyes again

  126. I fell off the SW bandwagon and have put on 9llb of the 28 I lost, I’ve been feeling meh at the thought of getting back on the wagon, but found your blog! It made me LOL far too loud, so today I start the journey anew and will be following you all the way

    Thank you!

  127. Started the Slimming World plan on Wednesday, and we are all being included in the eating plan, my two teenagers, haven`t met a food they didn`t like, but my husband is allergic to cooked tomatoes and tomato puree!! I`ll have to spend a good evening looking through recipes to see what I can use, other than that – all looks good and it`s a very generous eating plan. Thankyou for your blog it so makes me laugh and brightens my day. As an enforced SAHM due to chronic back problems, I have chronic pain and I`m in a wheelchair when outdoors – so anything that makes me laugh is a bonus x

  128. I’m so glad I found this blog (thanks Mum)
    I’ve just joined Slimming World to get rid of my post-baby belly and I’m so happy to find you guys ?

  129. My god, I could not love you guys more. This blog is fantastic, and you’re fucking hilarious. I can’t wait to catch up with what I’ve missed, and become an avid follower! Much love x

  130. Having just weighed myself for first time in a while it was not pretty!!! I decided enough is enough I cannot blame my weight on the baby anymore (she’s 5)!!! I was looking for slimming recipe inspiration and found your page. I love your writing style and the recipes are amazing cannot wait to try some and read more. Thank you xx

  131. I’ve just read your opening story and found it a breath of fresh air. You cheered me up no end and have gotten my day of to a great start. Your recipes are none to shabby neither. All the best.

  132. You’ve made me decide to definitely join (again..last time red, green malarky) . I teach cooking in a pupil referral unit and ‘mark’ students work by tasting unless they are the kids that don’t wash. I have a significant cake belly and think my ankles have gained an extra layer.’sigh’
    Your humour has made me feel less gloomy about the road ahead. Looking forward to reading more.

  133. Well it’s been a while since I promised myself I would get back on track with SW ….have finally done it..hurrah ..been about a month now and have lost my first stone!! Yipee…I shall now be religiously going through you recipes for inspiration and of course it’s a dam good reason to read your blog ..hysterical love it !!

  134. Can i just say, having recently discovered your blog, I’m so glad I subscribed as it has me laughing my socks off and eliciting some baffled sideways glances by the hubby. I’ve just started a blog myself and one of my first posts was about interesting things to do with oats (other than porridge)and I made your overnights oat collection my number one on the list (link included, of course). I’ll be delighted if even one of my visitors finds your hilarious blog. Seriously, it’s the highlight of my day when the newsletter comes in with your hilarious no-holds-barred travel tales and musings. My hubby’s from Prudhoe, and we lived there until a couple of years ago so I was even more delighted to discover you’re from that neck of the woods too. Keep up the good work lads.

  135. My DNA make up will not allow me to even step foot into a diet class with other folk discussing their wobbly bits and lying through their back teeth about how good they’ve been during the week and saved up their sins to have a binge drinking session on a Saturday night, no way no how!

    Never been one for diets (that actually work!) ever in my life, but now reaching my mid fifties and borderline diabetic, its time to seriously take stock and look forward to the next 50 odd years – may even get back to dancing round my handbag again!

    So, after coming across your website, blog and monologue and seeing that you don’t take yourselves that seriously, (what a relief), I’m going to enjoy readjusting my eating habits whilst enjoying reading your latest adventures.

    Thanks in advance (of losing weight!)

  136. OMG! I have just discoved your website when looking for new ideas and what a website I have found! 😀

    Iv already shared it around us slimming worlders in the office! Keep it up! 😀

  137. So funny and I’m hard to get a laugh from.

    Just read “about us” and actually laughed out loud…….on my own!

    Love cats and don’t do kids so I can feel our kindred spirit through this tablet.

    My cat, Arnie, has OCD too but chooses to have it when he’s sitting near my head in bed at 2am. It sounds like there is a small child in my bedroom chewing gum.

    Anyway…… need to check out these recipes so bye for now.

  138. What can I say the funniest think I have read.
    Just what you need to cheer a diet up well done keep us laughing xxx

  139. Recently found you and thank the fat lord we did! We need more help than most can offer but laughter is priceless. Thank you
    Jeanette and Steve xx

  140. Your humour sees me through dark days. I love your attitude, spunk and general lack of inhibition. Thank you for taking the time to share. Rock on……………….
    Rosy xx

  141. My fiance found this blog this morning and he and I have been laughing our arses off reading through the posts, especially the one about driving around Milton Keynes with the sat nav having a shitfit with roundabouts!

    We have both some SW before and lost a shed load of weight (13.5 stone in my case), but have fallen off the wagon and put it back on; so will be using this site to put our fingers out and slimming whilst having a good laugh in the process!

    Thanks James and Paul for making such a wonderful site! 🙂

  142. Omg, I bought and took your book (Saturated Fats) on holiday with me last week…….I made the huge mistake of starting to read it on the plane …….struggling to suppress my titters, the very buffed and quite frankly bitchy steward asked me if I needed a glass of water or a visit from a medic ! Ah no need I replied and flashed the cover of the book under his highlighted nose……
    He gave me what I can only describe as a knowing wink, and inquired which travel blog and recipe I loved the most!
    I discovered a fellow follower at. 35,000 feet…….
    The book kept me thoroughly entertained between cocktails and swimming….laughed so much I accidentally wet myself on more than one occasion…….(must get that seen too)
    Thanks James and Paul
    Look forward to the next book x

  143. Well I’ve just stumbled across your blog as I begin my 20th or so time at Slimming World. My hubby is a tall lanky thing who never gains weight – me I get fat eating air!! So I’ve had a look through your site and I think I might have found my kind of diet people. The honest ones – the ones who let a few syns slide every now and again and most importantly love a good swear word. I can see a nicely made up folder of your recipes on the kitchen side in my future. Love it and can’t wait to shed the weight and go back to shaking my tits and arse in a club somewhere – by club I mean my kitchen!

  144. Hi could you let me know where i can buy your first book on your honeymoon adventures.Have ordered the following 2 from amazon but they only have the first in kindle.Boo i’m oldschool.Love your blog, keep the lol’s coming!!

  145. Hi Guys
    I have just come across your site and had to excuse myself on more than one occasion as I couldn’t stop laughing so loud. I find your site not only humorous but also filled with some great recipes which i will be trying out.

    Keep up the good work.

    From a fellow Bear

  146. Well it’s been a while since I posted anything …I was full of good intentions to rejoin and start my long long journey to a new me !! I finally made that a reality and have now lost nearly 4 st so thanks to your recipes blogs etc etc I can say I’m half way there to a new me ….thank you guys ..keep up the fab work for all us ‘bears’ out there x

  147. just discovered your blog and site whilst on nightshift fantastic recopies i’m from Newcastle and part of slimming world in Fenham love the banter before each recipe !! keep up the good work

    Jimi

  148. Well I have just discovered you on Pintrest, couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d look at a few receipes, that was at twelve o’clock, it is now 3 a.m. And am now going to blame you for the bags under my eyes tomorrow! I have had to smother the laughter with my pillow, don’t want the neighbours thinking they are living next to a lunatic. I am definitely going to try your receipes, they look fantastic. I am now a new subscriber and will look forward to following you. Keep up with the great work and of course the sense of humour.

  149. I bought your book from Amazon for my friends birthday and gave it to her at work. She walked out and left it behind, the Bitch. I did notice that she didn’t forget her leftovers from lunch out of the fridge, the Greedy Bitch.

  150. I’ve just found you on Pinterest (I can’t even remember what I was looking for) and am delighted to find someone from my neck of the woods. What a breath of fresh air you are from the ‘stay at home mom/home school’ brigade you are! I can’t wait to try your recipes.

  151. ChubbyCubs you just gave me giggle cramps in my abs. Thanks for the hilarious blog

    Jon
    One of the 30-something heavy-boned bastards

  152. OMG, you are both hilarious!
    I feel we are kindred spirits already!
    Thank God I found you (shit, I’m an agnostic!)
    Thanks for your site guys.

  153. I Love you guys !!!
    I was only looking for a quick Syn free gravy recipe, but instead think I have found my kindred spirits.
    Your sense of humour is so on point with mine, Keep it coming x

  154. Love you guys…..anyone who loves puddy cats are just amazing. Sola is the double of my Ripley and I have 4 torties all with cattitude.

  155. OMG I love your posts! Such a brilliant blog, and fab recipes too – keeping it “real” as well! so glad I happened across this, it has made my day! Love the ninjas too – I have one and I can relate to all you describe lol

  156. Only just found you guys and absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE. Was googling the Actifry to see if the cheapy Lidl job would do the deed. 😳 Came across you and totally hooked! Not laughed so much for ages. You guys are inspirational and looking forward to whizzing round your site on my mission to get back to me! I’m hoping!🙈🤣. What a fantastic sense of humour you have. What a joy to read. Thank you 😊. Love the cats 🐈 I have a Freddie and Stanley Denis who are as equally as naughty and spoilt as every cat should be! And totally loved! Keep up your fabulous blog. 🤗

  157. Just discovered this site. Have had strange looks from co workers… tears running down my face after reading some of ur comments.
    Will resume my reading when i get home

  158. FINALLY! A recipe blog that isn’t mind-numbingly dull from start to finish. Seriously gents, thank you for raising the god damn bar.👌👏👉👌

  159. well… I don’t really need to loose weight, but as first diagnosed diabetic, then heart failure, and couple of months ago told I was half way down the path to kidney failure (probably because at some point after being a good girl and following all the steps to hearty eating something tick me of life and I sent the healthy cooking out) I set out looking for recipes….and looking for Brit bloggers, found you and …oh …how amazingly fun! gonna need to consult a friend who knows the slimming world lingo to get some of it, but am of to make the slow cooker nacho thingy wrap mixture. I’m bookmarking you so I can come for more 🙂

  160. Been awake since 3am joined Slimming World yesterday, perhaps it’s the fear of giving up the G & t’s and wine not sure the I came across your book which I have just downloaded. Trying not to Laugh out too loud in case I wake the hubby, and he’s in a different bedroom because of his snoring both ends” Sorry! Anyway love the recipes and your sense of humour guys, reminds us of two guys who lived in Turkey, but have since done a runner to a new country. Keep the humour and stories coming, loving it all.

  161. We go to SW but find the recipes all a tad long and boring, with hundreds of ingredients – just tried your scotch eggs……… fabulous and easy and will do these again and again. Unfortunately, the SW recipes x 2 for scotch eggs are no comparison. Yours are simple, tasty and very very low in syns. x Going to be trying loads more of your recipes. Thanks x

  162. Well here I go again ..after giving a sort of commitment back in Jan 2016 I did in fact rejoin SW ..now 5 st + lighter and a journey up down and many avenues explored I’m doing ok still some to lose but the end is in sight still love you honest blogs and recipes of course ..thank you for being part of the journey with me xx

  163. been on here most of the day , pissing myself – this is exactly how I like to read recipes , instead of some chef with his head up his arse – keep it up , love the cat pictures as well

  164. Good Morning, I have recently been given this site for ideas on recipes. Do you have a easier way to download all these recipes in one go?.

  165. OMG you guys are amazing!!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE publish a book!!! Just started on my weight loss journey (for the 4th time!!!) but my daughter is getting married in two years so now I have a massive incentive!! Have 10 stone to lose but looking at these recipes you guys are gonna keep me on track!!! Keep em coming guys 🙂 xxx

  166. Hi I love your blog and your recipes but have very recently been told I have to exclude all gluten from my diet… any chance of some gluten free ideas I.e. make your own cereal bars for heb etc? I’m struggling with heb as have always had cereal bars as I dont eat much bread:-) thanks! 🙂

  167. Hi, Guys!
    What a find this is. I’m not really a WWW person: I leave all the facebook sh*te to Mrs B, who like to poke and swipe whenever I’m not looking, or, if I’ve said something wrong. I know – don’t say it.
    I was proudly hatched many moons ago in Pitman Northumberland, but now sound like an extra from Educating Yorkshire – ironic, I s’pose, cos’ I’m not really educated and I’m not from Yorkshire. Anyway: your site: (Say that carefully, eh!)
    I’ll be paying special attention now, as I’m the Slimming World Cook-Bitch in this West Yorkshire happy house, where, as part of a menopausal crisis, Mrs B, a wobbling size 9, thinks she’s fat. Luckily for her (go on, say it!), I was raised by a top Northumbrian single ‘Mam’, who taught me A: how to cook; B: how to eat sensibly, and, D, the alphabet.
    Tea-time now…please shout of you want my dead-healthy, veggie pease pudding tips. (I come very cheap – just ask Fr Plunket from my old primary school.) Gaan canny, Marras!

  168. I feel like your blog, recipes and website are going to help me a LOT as I join Slimming World for the gazillionth time.
    You have to keep on trying, don’t you? I love your humour, your ideas, your easy cook recipes and your general outlook on life.
    Please don’t ever take this website down or I will get fatter than ever, die of a massive heart attack before I reach 50 and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT. Seriously though, thank you. This website is a godsend.
    Love from Lisa Washington, Big Fatty, Age 45 and a bit xxxx

  169. Hey Chubbies , have you had a fall out with muscle foods ? the web site you advertise is no longer available ,thank you for your delicious recipes and the laughs x

  170. HI Chubby Cubs
    Love the website and also your book, i love the cheesy gnocchi bake but in the ingredients it mentions mushroom and in the method it does not, when shoudl i add them, or am i being thick?

    Thanks Jody

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