dirty breakfast baps

I’m absolutely gutted, you know. I had a 3000 word (usual length only 1000, but it’s not the size of the post, it’s how many tears it brings to your eyes) post, I thought I’d clicked save, and nope. Disappeared. All those witticisms (it was the fourth part of our trip to Germany, which I forgot to finish) vanished into the digital ether, scattered to the wind like posts about Big Brother 5 and Connie Clickit. Bah! So, a quick improvised post about shoes.

I’m sure Paul would tell people that if I dropped a pound, it would land on the back of my neck as I bent down to pick it up. That’s unfair. I just hate spending money when I don’t need to, and my shoes illustrate this perfectly. I use the same Chelsea boots for everything – walking across the town moor, gardening, walking dogs, office wear, hammering in nails, scratching my back, smoothing icing – and they’ve finally given up the ghost, with the back heel actually falling off halfway through my trot into Newcastle last week, meaning I had to spend the day listing to one side like a badly loaded ferry. I was gutted – not just because I loved those shoes, but because it meant buying more, and that money could always be better spent on a nice bowl or a videogame. However, thriftiness saved the day, as I just took Paul’s old work shoes that we had wedged under our bed to stop the cats getting into the drawers. Obviously. Comfortable, didn’t smell like death like his shoes usually do – I was set for a good day. Until about 2pm when, obviously inspired by the break for freedom that my boots made, the entire sole of the shoe came away. Brilliant! Two years of Paul’s pitted keratolysis (and for fuck’s sake don’t google that – if you don’t know what it is, you’re better off) had clearly acted like an acid wash and ruined the fuckers, meaning I had to schlep around the office looking like Barry Tramp for the afternoon.



Men’s Dr Martens’ Congress, Size 11. Cheers. Gosh they’re on ebay and EVERYTHING. And yes, that is the right size!

Anyway, whilst I’ve got you all here, Paul and I have been chatting and we have some news. We’re going to make a couple of small changes to the blog just to give it a bit of structure – we currently struggle to post every day just because of work commitments and other boring nonsense. So we’re committing to five posts a week, all five of which will have a new SW recipe. The aim is for 1 weigh-in post (Tuesday), 1 quick-post (which is usually just where I post a recipe but I always end up gabbing on anyway) and 3 regular posts where you get plenty of sassy writing and anecdotes. To be quite honest, I’ll more than likely end up posting every day anyway, but I might be posting shorter updates occasionally. Both Paul and I work full-time in front of computers, and sometimes the last thing I want to be doing when I come home is typing out my usual flimflam! Plus, it takes time to prepare the photos and type out the recipe. It’s gotten to a point where I feel bad if I have a night off from writing and that’s a trifle silly.

I tell you what isn’t silly, though…these!



Syn-free breakfast! Using the SW syn-free sausages (alright if you hide them in a bun), bacon medallion, mushroom, well fried egg and grilled tomato. Healthy extra the bun, beans on the side, you’re laughing!



8 thoughts on “dirty breakfast baps

  1. Even I understand the need for some time off I have to say I will miss my late night email from you guys. I keep checking my mail to see if I have one from you when I go to bed and won’t go to sleep till I have read it. I am late tonight as my son and his girlfriend came up from wakefield so we went to spennymoor town hall to see Elvis tribute @ £7 a ticket got to say I have seen better karaoke, we still had a good night.

    • Do you know, Michelle, that’s one act I’ve never gotten away with – Elvis! I can’t stand the man! But each to their own – I’m glad you had a great night, family nights out are always brilliant 🙂 x

  2. You boys need your time off, but like Michelle, I’ll miss my long posts! So look forward to them. And on that note, thank you for bringing me a daily chuckle and a damn good read.

    • Haha well! I’ve got a good few banked up ready to publish on days that I can’t be fussed to type, so we’ll be good for now 🙂 thanks for your lovely words as ever!

  3. You have created your own monster with your blog and I can understand how you feel bad if you don’t entertain us. However, we all need quality time in our busy days. Thank you for your ramblings and putting smiles on our faces. Nice shoes by the way and a fab pic 😉

  4. You guys crack me up! i am in stiches while reading your posts! I am new to Slimming World. I had a check up at the doctors and was shocked, saddened and generally horrified at what the scales said! My mum has done wonders by being on slimming world, so i thought i would join the slimming world train and have a giggle while reading you funny, funny stories and get some great recipes too!

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