Tonight’s recipe is syn free egg fried rice – I’m working tonight, alas, so it really is just a recipe for you – but what a recipe! Paul can’t cook rice for the life of him. He just can’t. There’s not many things he can’t do, but we can safely add cooking rice to other items such as bending over without tipping over and climbing more than two flights of stairs without his Fitbit melting off his wrist. We have tried many times to perfect this rice dish but each time it’s ended up soggier than a submarine’s number plate. The amount of times we’ve hurled white mush into the bin and brought out good old Uncle Ben, you have no idea. So, research was needed, and after a bit of digging on the internet it turns out you have to use bone-dry and cooled white rice. Who knew? We chucked in a load of veg and we were on our way! Think of us next time you need a side dish, won’t you?

to make syn free egg fried rice, you’ll need:

• however much white rice you want, cooked and cooled all the way through
• a big handful of peas
• a carrot, julienned – we discovered this wee thing on Amazon which GASP makes tiny strips of carrot – so easy!
• one large red pepper – cut into tiny chunks about the size of the peas
• two eggs – beaten
• one red onion, sliced fine
• one bog standard cheap-ass onion, chopped
• any leftover broccoli you might have, also into tiny chunks
• a tiny knob of ginger about the size of your thumbnail, minced using one of these bad boys 
• two cloves of garlic – see comment above
• LOW-SALT soy sauce
• a couple of rings of pineapple if you really want to push the boat out

Oh and BONUS, you can cook it in one pan.

to make syn free egg fried rice, you should:

• prepare all your veg as instructed above, taking only a moment to wipe your brow and buy a grater, mincer or julienne peeler
• get your big pan nice and hot and squirted with a few sprays of Filippo Berio or other spray oil – I add a few drops of soy sauce here too
• throw in your eggs and scramble them – really go at them with a wooden spoon
• once they’re nearly cooked, remove them as best you can into a dish, and throw in the onions, garlic and ginger (not finger, as I originally posted, otherwise you’ll get a spicy grot-slot) and allow to gently soften
• throw in the rest of your veg and pineapple and a good glug of soy sauce and allow to soften
• add the rice, stir, and warm it through completely
• once everything is hot and mixed, add the scrambled egg, and stir well!

Serve topped with some cut spring onions. Easy. The key to this recipe is getting everything a nice uniform shape and making sure everything is cooked through.

Of course, if you’re looking for some dishes to serve this with, pick something lovely from our massive list of fakeaway Chinese dishes! Click the icon below.

BYEEEE.

J