Hawaiian pizza pasta if you please! I know what you’re thinking – years of my brain stem being nudged increasingly repeatedly from the front twice a day for ten minutes has left me addled. Well, you’re not wrong, but we’re actually making Hawaiian pizza pasta bake to celebrate the fact that Vera returns to the telly tonight. Don’t get the link? It’s simple: Hawaiian is how she tells people to enter a building in that “Geordie” “accent” of hers. “Hawaiian pet, there’s been a moorda”
See? It’s that easy. If you’re wondering what that snapping noise was, it was sound of a tortuous analogy breaking in two.
Actually, speaking of pet, did anyone see that storm in the teacup with Virgin Trains in the middle of the week? Someone complaining was told to ‘go right ahead, honey‘ and when she mentioned it on their Twitter that actually, when complaining, it doesn’t do to be overfamiliar in return, the customer service guy replied with ‘would you prefer darling or sweetheart, next time?‘
I have to admit, I was absolutely howling. That’s exactly why I couldn’t work in social media, I’d be putting my foot in my mouth that much I’d need to tie my shoelaces with my uvula. Everyone is kicking off as though she’s Millie Tant in human form but reading beyond the typically salacious PC-GONE-MAD headline, she only complained that the train guard had called her honey in a voice dripping with sarcasm. As someone who was told loudly that WE MUST SERVE EVERYONE ELSE BEFORE YOU GET SECONDS when I asked for a sandwich on their train, I can sympathise.
It did make me think, though – I give absolutely everyone a nickname and I can’t help it. Paul is shittyarse, Shitty McGee or sugartits, my mum is Boot, dad is Greengrass, even my bosses are Chief and Guv’nor respectively. I wouldn’t think twice about sticking a love or a pet or a flower on the end of my hello or thank you in a shop. Sex doesn’t come into it, unless they’re giving me the keen-eye and I’ve got time. In fact, this habit teamed with my booming voice in shops probably doesn’t endear me to about half the people I come across, but meh, fuck it – no malice is meant – but I ought to apologise on behalf of almost every Geordie in existing who use this over-familiar terms of endearment like Southern folks use full-stops.
WE JUST DURNT KNOW ANY BETTA PETUL!
Right, to the recipe. Hawaiian pizza pasta bake! Just trust me. After all this time? Always. This makes four big portions. Cook it, freeze it, keep some extra! Lovely. If you’re after a carb hit, I just happen to have got what you need, just exactly what you need…
to make Hawaiian pizza pasta bake, you’ll need:
- 250g pasta
- 750ml passata
- 4 slices of thick ham, chopped
- 300g bacon medallions
- 230g pineapple chunks (fresh is better, just buy a pre-cut pack in the supermarket if you can’t be arsed)
- 140g reduced-fat mozzarella, diced or grated (2x HeA)
- if you’re feeling extra sluttish, add 80g of extra mature lighter cheddar on top – I know, I’m pure filth
Get proper tasty bacon in our Musclefood deal! Make your own hamper so it’s full with only the stuff you love! Click here to find out more.
Top tip: use your microplane grater, the one I always recommend, to make your cheddar go that much further – nice and fine creates a proper crunchy top!
Up to you if you syn the pineapple. We don’t, because it’s a bollocks rule.
to make Hawaiian pizza pasta bake, you should:
- preheat the oven to 180°c
- bring a pan of water to the boil and cook the pasta according to the instructions
- meanwhile cook the bacon under the grill, and then roughly chop
- add the passata to a saucepan and heat gently
- spray a large frying pan with a little oil and place over a medium-high heat
- add the chopped ham and pineapple and cook for a few minutes
- add the passata, bacon, ham and pineapple to the drained pasta and stir well
- stir through half of the mozzarella and tip into a large pyrex dish
- sprinkle over the remaining cheese and bake in the oven for 15-20 minutes
- finish under the grill for a few minutes to brown the cheese
Love pasta bakes? You’re not the only one! You’ll find more ideas below!
- baked spaghetti pie (syn free)
- chicken and bacon pasta (syn free)
- knocked-up tomato sausage bake (syn free)
- ricotta and spinach stuffed beefy cannelloni (1.5 syns)
- cheesy chicken broccoli pasta bake (1.5 syns)
- chilli beefy macaroni cheese (3.5 syns)
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Sounds lovely but surely cooked pineapple is synned?
Fabulous mmmmm beautiful
This was our family dinner to tonight, delicious and enjoyed by all!!
Happy to help!
Tried this it’s loverly
Made this for my family this evening and they all loved it. My boys said BDE (Best Dinner Ever) i tjink this is a new favourite in our house. I added a little Italian herbs to give it a little bit more of the pizza flavour
I love how easy it is! 🙂
It is so easy, I’m going to get the kids cooking this one next week 🙂
Made this at weekend even the grumbly old man (dad nearly 90) loved it …”you can make that again”. Thank you xx
This would have syns as the pineapple is cooked
Eee if only we mentioned such a thing in the recipe!
This is amazing its going straight on my favorites list thanks guys x
What to use instead of mozzarella. I don’t like mozzarella
Any cheese you like 🙂 or you can just leave it out
Bloody hell, this was lush. Even my husband, he of the ‘fruit does not belong with savoury food’ ilk absolutely demolished a portion, went back for seconds and told me that fruit does belong with savoury food in this instance. This recipe is probably the simplest thing I’ve made in weeks, but the tastiest, and it’s definitely going to become a regular meal. Cheers lads.
Hi we cooked this last night but can I ask how many fats in it
hi can i freeze this as i live on my own and yes would eat all 4 portions!!
How have I only just stumbled across your blog? Feel I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole, skipping from recipe to recipe, the sheer breath of fresh air in your writing….I think I could lose hours! Anyway, I’m off to give this pasta dish a go. Many thanks 🙂