pork pad thai

pad thai to say goodbye (and I choke)

try to walk away (apple crumble)

Sorry, but I thought of the title for this pork pad thai in the car and started chuckling merrily away at my own joke to the point that the chav in the car next to me thought I was laughing at his crapmobile and revved his engine. haha! hey, speaking of driving, I had to be a hero today and parallel park someone’s car. Space near our offices is a premium and there was this poor lass getting more and more frantic trying to park in the one available space. Because I stopped nearby to ‘check my phone’ (watch her judgmentally) she stopped her car, got out and asked me to park. I need to mention something though – there was almost space for two cars and she was driving a Mini (although you’d think it was a 70 seater coach the way she was going back and forth) – easiest parking ever! I feel those karma points will be banked for something nice at the end of the week.

I feel quite dreadful this week, because of working late and being under the kosh at work. I’ve eaten like an absolute pig, not stayed to plan and taken in all sorts of tasty, tasty shite. Really not good – and there’s no real excuse for it, because if you plan with SW, then you don’t need to eat crap. In my defense though, I’m not knowing day to day how long I’m going to be at work, or when my lunch break will be, if any, so it makes it a bit harder. Plus, I’ve been away from Paul since Monday morning  (when I get in, he’s asleep, and I only get a reassuring fart out of him as I climb into bed – it’s either that or air escaping from a fat-roll when I shift him), so maybe I’m just comfort eating.

ANYWAY look, never mind. I’m going to write the last few days off and get back on it. No more excuses! And lo, the Lord doth provide a recipe card:

Pad Thai

to make pork pad thai you will need: 

two pak choi, two carrots, packet of low fat pork mince, garlic, ginger, veg stock (not vag stock as I originally typed in the recipe card, leading to a last-minute switcheroo), beansprouts, onion, one egg, fish sauce and dried noodles. One red chilli and one lime to serve. Don’t bother with coriander, that’s Satan’s pubic hair.

to make pork pad thai you should: 

getting everything prepared before cooking is what takes up the most time with this one, but it’s worth it. chop up the pak choi, carrots, chilli, spring onions and grate the garlic and ginger (or do what we do and buy the stuff in a paste). Start by frying your mince in a mixture of soy, fish sauce and stock, quantities above. Put the chopped up spring onion whilst you do this – keeping it on a medium heat. Then add the carrots, beansprouts and pak choi and cook on a highish heat, giving it a good stir every now and then. Pak choi is a bit like spinach and will wilt down, but not to the same extent. After five or ten minutes, chuck in your egg, stir it through, and serve it hot by splashing a bit of lime and chucking on the chilli.

extra-easy: yes – syn free, though be careful with the noodles. Fresh noodles are synned, but dry noodles (unflavoured) are generally free – we’ve actually cheated in the above recipe and used fresh noodles (and built them into our food diary) but that’s something to keep an eye on. Otherwise, this is a genuinely lovely recipe and so easy to make – a great mixture of crunchy and soft, different flavours such as sour (lime) and sweet (the sauce) and unami (the soy). I’m a firm believer that if your food tastes good, you’ll not want to eat crap – as proven by my bingeing on shite this week.

top tips: making carrots and other veg into matchsticks is a pain in the arse with a knife, because it takes ages and I’ve got the dexterity of a ninety year old. We bought a julienne peeler which does the job for us. Only £4 or so, and you can find them in ASDA or order from Amazon if you can’t be bothered with fannying about by clicking here. Enjoy!

invest in fish sauce, even if you’re unsure. I don’t do seafood, not one bit, but fish sauce doesn’t taste fishy and it adds an extra base note to the flavours. This isn’t a stir-fry so don’t cook it like one, but it does come together quite quickly once you get going. If you matchstick a tonne of carrots, freeze a portion for next time. This recipe won’t freeze when cooked, mind. Oh no.

Right – enjoy! I’m off to make up for lost time with Paul’s high fat pork mince. Yup.