syn free breakfast burritos

Sort of accidentally, honest guv.

See after work yesterdayI went out with a good friend to endure Poltergeist at the cinema. I say endure, I mean barely tolerate. It was absolute bobbins. I LOVE horror movies, the schlockier the better, but this was just lazy pap. It says a lot that we weren’t bothered by the usual festering tits that had packed the cinema. The type of people who can’t sit for ninety minutes without checking Facebook. Normally they make me rage – they’re the type of people who I’d happily unplug their life support machine to charge up my phone – but given how bad the movie was I couldn’t blame them, could I? We appeared to have half of China visiting in the row behind us which gave the bizarre effect of having the English film in front of us being live-translated behind us followed by shrieks and giggles and excpetionally caricatured noises. Still a dull film though. Even I was hoping for one of Phillipa’s skin-melting farts just to liven things up but she was too busy being distracted by a rolling pig / unicorn hybrid.

So yes, I synned. See I had good intentions of staying on diet but I had a pint of Guinness in my hand before I had even sat down, which was followed by pizza, pasta and ice-cream. In my defence, I thought I was only ordering a small ice-cream but it turns out the scoop they use for their ‘three scoop special’ was a dustbin lid. You can imagine my distress and disappointment at having to eat it all, it really was just the worst.

I have to be honest, both Paul and I are in a bit of a lull with our diet at the moment – Slimming World is great because it isn’t very restrictive but occasionally I just get sick of eating sensibly and not being able to have what I want. Now, people always turn around and go ‘just have a little bit of what you fancy’ but that’s not how I work. I couldn’t just have a Freddo, I’d want a carpet-sized bar of chocolate to eat until I was sick. It’ll pass, but we’re relaxing the rules a little bit at the moment – still cooking a healthy recipe every day but just need to let it ease a bit. Once the bank holiday is over we’re going to be on it 100% – but even that’s easy to say and harder to do given neither of us have the type of job where we are guaranteed to be home at five with plenty of time to cook and prepare lunches. Sometimes I just want to come home, put on my scratty boxer shorts and scratch my balls in front of the TV for six hours until bed.

As an aside – I know I’ve been a bit quiet lately, but the good news is that I’m actually writing more than ever – it’s all going in the book. New content rather than old stuff!

Anyway: it’s Eurovision tonight, so that means vodka and snacks. No apologies!  I just hope to God Australia don’t win because I’ve sort-of promised Paul that we’ll go to the next one…

OK, that was moany. So here’s a nice breakfast recipe for you to be cracking on with:

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to make breakfast burritos, you’ll need:

one WW (boo hiss) Love Fibre wholemeal wraps (look for the purple and blue packaging, as you can use this wrap as a HEB); two slimming world sausages (or use low syn sausages but syn them), two eggs, HEA portion of extra mature cheese, two decent slices of ham cut into chunks and a potato.

to make breakfast burritos, you should:

  • cut the potato into very thin strips and spritz with a tiny bit of oil and pop in the oven for ten minutes (if that) until they’re cooked through like french fries – set aside
  • cook the sausages either under the grill or in an Actifry, then cut into thin slices (like matchsticks rather than discs)
  • crack the eggs into a pan and whisk on a medium heat to make scrambled eggs, set aside
  • slice up your ham and grate your cheese
  • when everything is ready, hoy your wrap into the oven for a minute or so to warm it through, then lie it flat on the counter
  • load it up – a row of cheese, then sausage, then egg, then chips, then ham
  • roll it up!

If you’re a bit slow and don’t know how to roll a wrap properly, you can find a guide here. I had to use it, don’t worry, no-one is judging.

Just out of shot in that photo was an attempt to make homemade salsa but as it looks like something you’d scrape out of an infected foot, I’m not putting the recipe on. What a bitch!

J

Comments

comments

7 thoughts on “syn free breakfast burritos

  1. I understand the lull. Went out for dinner with a very slim friend and watched her eat ricotta and spinach ravioli in a Dolcelatte sauce while I had sea bass and plain pasta. I would happily have buried my face in her plate; it’s been a long time since I’ve eaten what I wanted to rather than what I “should”. I suppose (hope?) it happens to all of us and it will indeed pass.

    In the meantime, they have said Australia won’t host Eurovision even if they win – so put the thought of 21 hours in a flying sardine can out of your mind. 🙂

    • Buried her face in the plate? Mind, you’re restrained. I’ve already imagined twenty different ways to dispatch her painfully and I don’t even know the woman. Pah! Is she dead thin too? THROW HER IN THE GULAG. A lull is okay now and again in my book, it helps to ‘recalibrate’ the compass towards the greyer end of things! And thankfully Australia didn’t win, not least because the song was awful but he looked decidedly shifty and turned me right off the idea. Thanks for following!

  2. I’ve had a ‘lull’ of three years, to be fair, a horse ripped off half me calf, it was a bit of an enforced sit yerself down, pet, while that hole closes up. Still, no more excuses and I’m back to it (after the weekend, mind, I’m not that special!). Thanks for all the smashing ideas and pictures (pick chas, as my non Geordie OH likes to say, in his pseudo accent, bless, he tries).

  3. Defo going to try this one, looks ace. Having only stumbled across your blog yesterday I’m currently reading through your posts and loving them!

    I hope your making good on you promise and going to Sweden in a few weeks. Gotta love a bit of Eurovision…. its on my bucket list!!

  4. oooo…this would sort me out a treat in the morning…..with mushrooms, I bloody love mushrooms….in my mind im running through tomorrow morning already. Having cooked it all this evening…put it on a plate and whack in the micro for a bit then wrap it all up and off I go.
    I cant stomach another flaming muller light at 7am. Yes a nice warm naughty looking wrap thatl do it.

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