Not going to lie, I’m in two minds to post this recipe for pease pudding. Keen readers may remember me mentioning a few posts back that people are scraping this stuff into pie dishes and pretending it’s a pastry. I can get behind that – sort of – it’s not that much different to a potato crust pie, I suppose. But, to top the lemon meringue pie monstrosity that I saw someone posting the other day, someone’s actually gone and made jam tarts. That’s a jam tart made from pease-pudding and a few squished strawberries. Syn-free, though, so who’s laughing now? Not the people watching you choke down these vile creations, I can tell you – they’re looking at you with thinly-veiled hatred, Sheila – not least because you’ve got pease pudding flakes in your moustache.

But hey, who am I to stand in the way of dignity – so a recipe for pease pudding it is. This isn’t syn-free because in a desperate attempt to make it interesting I’ve added a Newcastle Brown Ale syrup that I made from boiling the bejesus from a bottle of dog – that’s what we call Newcastle Brown Ale up here in tan-teeth-land: so-called because a husband would tell his wife he was walking the dog when instead he was creeping away for a quick drink. The rotter! You can, of course, leave that out. What you do with this pease pudding is entirely up to you – decent folk spread it on sandwiches with ham, sensible folk have it on the side of a good lunch, but if you choose to smear it up a pie tin and make a corned beef pie with it, then more power to your elbow.

A quick reminder before the recipe though:

OUR MOST IMPORTANT MESSAGE. Yep, it isn't easy to stop caring what people who don't matter think of you, but you need to start. Fake it until you make it. No-one honestly cares what you look like. Wear it with confidence and you will wear it well! ENJOY SUMMER. WEAR WHAT YOU WANT. #slimmingworld #slimmingworldmafia #slimming #bodypositive #fatpride #beyou #thesehashtagshavegivenmediabetes

A post shared by twochubbycubs (@twochubbycubs) on Jun 24, 2018 at 2:28am PDT

Reposting this for the summer. Ask yourself a quick question – can you remember the hair colour of the last person who served you in a shop? Can you remember what style shirt the guy who let you out at the lights was wearing? In fact, any human interaction outside of your friends and family in the last three days – can you describe anyone in more than a fleeting detail? Of course you can’t – and that’s why you shouldn’t be covering up your wobbly bits or unsightly ham-arms. Because no-one cares, no-one remembers and only you are worried about them. When I posted this on Facebook yesterday there was a sea of positivity – good – but quite a few comments of people sat inside too scared to go out and enjoy themselves because they were scared of being judged. Please, for the love of Mags Miles-B and her 40 Rothmans larynx, stop. Don’t waste a second worrying about people who’d never give you a second thought (and I mean that kindly). Life’s too short.

The pease pudding then…

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home made pease pudding

Author twochubbycubs

Yield 10 servings

So two things: you don't need an Instant Pot for this recipe - it just makes things so much easier. Second, you don't need to add the ale - it adds syns, but it makes a lovely base-note for the pudding. Christ, how pretentious. Add plenty of salt and pepper before cooking, too!

Remember that you could very easily switch and make syn free split pea soup! We have a recipe for this.

Oh and finally! Pease pudding in the supermarket is about 70p for a little pot. This recipe makes about 10 pots worth for £1 of ingredients. Pease pudding freezes well, so get it done!

It's this easy!

https://youtu.be/AW-N72urmbc

Ingredients

• 500g of yellow split peas
• one large chopped onion
• 1100ml of ham stock
• one bottle of Newcastle Brown Ale (330ml) (6 syns) (optional)
• a right good pinch of black pepper and salt 

Instructions

• if you're using the ale, reduce it down by adding it into a pan and allowing to reduce on the heat until it's reduced by about a third
• if you're using an Instant Pot, throw it all in, turn the vent to seal, stick it on manual for twenty minutes
• once cooked, let out the pressure, give it a good stir and then leave to cool
• it'll thicken up in the fridge - portion up and freeze
• if you don't have an Instant Pot, you can do this on the hob - just allow to blip and simmer away for as long as it takes

Notes

We love our Instant Pot - one of our favourite gadgets, and after being out of stock for a whole year, they're NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER! Have a look through the recipes we posted at the bottom of this post for more ideas but in the meantime, if you've sat on the fence about getting one, now is the time to get it! Order one here!

Courses snacks

Cuisine British

Easy! Want some more Instant Pot / Pressure King recipes? Then here you go:

• pork and sweet potato chilli (syn free)
• instant pot spaghetti bolognese (syn free)
• lentil and vegetable soup (syn free)
• split pea and ham soup (syn free)
• slimming world sandwich fillings (1 syn or less)
• leek, potato and cheddar soup (less than 1 syn)
• lazy cabbage bowls (1 syn)
• lemon and garlic chicken (0.5 syns)
• spicy carrot and coconut soup (2 syns)
• sticky sesame chicken (2.5 syns)
• the best bbq pork sandwiches you’ll ever have (2 syns)
• chicken caesar wraps (3 syns)

J