low syn McDonald’s Chicago Stack

Next on the old trip around McDonalds is this lovely Chicago Stack! I’m not going to lie, all of their Great Taste burgers are variations on meat being packed into buns and covered in a variety of sauces, but then, so am I, and I’m perfect in every way.

Well, aside from my left nostril. No, that little bugger has betrayed me and decided that I don’t need any sleep at all and rather I would prefer to wake up at 4am with it streaming snot and throbbing. I woke up the other night with a pillow so sticky and viscous that I thought I’d been rohypnoled during one of Paul’s ‘Let’s Meet The Neighbours’ events, where neighbours means any VWE BBC curvy gentlemen within a 40 – no, let’s hedge the bets – 50 mile radius. It was like being a teenage boy all over again, although I no longer have a stack of bedaubed Razzles under my mattress that all mysteriously fall open to the ‘Reader’s Husbands’ page. Ah, memories. When you were horny but only had an expanse of fields and a 56k modem to salve your thickness, you made do.

Actually, Christ, that reminds me. I once found a videotape thrown into a hedge when out playing, and because I was an inquisitive child whose parents had a somewhat casual approach to sensibilities, rushed straight home to put it in the VHS player. Well, it certainly wasn’t old episodes of Minder. The lady getting wheelbarrowed around the shagpile had more hair on her muff than I’ve ever had on my face – and I’m talking cumulative beard growth over at least 16 years. I was so horrified and aghast that I rushed out and left it in the video player, which in turn led to a very difficult, awkward conversation later on about the birds, bees and growlers that look like Bungle and George from Rainbow had a lovechild which fell in a fire.

Honestly, it’s no wonder I dance at the other end of the disco.

How the hell did we get here? Ah yes! My nostril! I normally suffer a bit with hay-fever but I can cope if I take an antihistamine, but this year I get woken up suffocating on my own pollen-snot mix. Does anyone have any ideas? I’ve tried all different variations of medication. We have air-conditioning. I’ve tried local honey. I’m not sticking my hand in any nettles. I’m not a simpleton, so please don’t recommend anything that comes from a business where you start every sentence with ‘Now I know it looks like a pyramid scheme but honestly…’ because being told to fuck off will likely offend.

This is a genuine cry for help though – I’ve had about ten hours total sleep in the last four days because once I’m awake, that’s it, I can’t go back to sleep. I lie in bed furious with Paul for being able to sleep and then being sure to passively-aggressively sneeze as loud as possible until he sends me out in a huff.

We have fun! Anyway, I won’t keep you any longer. Before the Chicago Stack recipe, we have a competition running on Instagram though!

COMPETITION! The lovely @yourshonline have come to my sweaty, too hot rescue and provided me with a food flask that keeps my dinner warm and a flask that keeps drinks deliciously cool for AGES. Seriously, the drink stays cold for 24 hours! Plus, the shape and colour means it looks just right on my bedside table. You know what I mean. AND NOW YOU CAN HAVE THEM! To win: 1. like this post, because I'm marvellous and a corporate hussy 2. follow @yourshonline and us @twochubbycubs 3. Tag a friend who always has a hot box in the comments! I'll pick someone next Wednesday. And listen, I'm recommending these because they actually do work. No corporate shill here! They're genuinely amazing! #foodflask #competition #sho #Slimmingworld #slimmingworldmafia #slimming #yourshoonline #instacomp #blogger #blagger #gifted

A post shared by twochubbycubs (@twochubbycubs) on

Come win yourself a bottle and a flask. To be clear, we were given these to try in response to my mewling about the heat being unbearable and, had they been rubbish like other flasks, I would have wasted no time in telling you. But actually – they kept my drink cold – in this weather – all day AND the food flask kept my food hot. I don’t know the science, but I do know the quality! So I can recommend them without hesitation and you can believe me without regret: take a nose!

And now, the McDonald’s Chicago Stack!

Chicago Stack!

Chicago Stack!

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low syn McDonald's Chicago Stack

Prep

Cook

Total

Yield 1 burger

Next on our sweep through classic burgers from McDonalds is the Chicago Stack!

Look, this might not be classy food, but we're doing God's work here and saving you from yourself. This way you get to enjoy McDonalds and stay within your syns, which is perfect as it then means you have a few leftover for that XXL Dominos you'll be chasing this down with. Am I right?

Ingredients

  • 1 wholemeal bun (1x HeB)
  • 200g 5% beef mince
  • 2 rashers of bacon, fat removed
  • 2 slices of reduced-fat cheddar (approx. 40g) (1x HeA)
  • few gherkin slices
  • 1 tbsp barbecue sauce (1 syn)
  • 1 tbsp extra light mayonnaise (1 syn)

Instructions

  • make the burgers (see notes)
  • cook the burgers (see notes)
  • meanwhile, slice the bun
  • spread the barbecue sauce over the bottom bun and the mayonnaise on the top
  • add a burger to the bottom bun, then a slice of cheese, then another burger and the other slice of cheese
  • top with bacon and gherkins 
  • add the top bun
  • eat!

Notes

  • a burger press will make easy work of the burgers but if you haven't got one just roll the mince into a ball and flatten into a burger shape
  • you can cook the burgers however you please - we used our Tefal Optigrill on the 'burger' setting but you could use a frying pan over a high heat (spray in a little oil first), under a high grill, on a George Foreman or even on a barbecue. It's up to you!
  • don't forget - you get both mince and bacon in our fantastic Muscle Food deals! 
  • there's no need for egg or any binders in this - the mince will hold just fine as long as you spend a few minutes giving it a good squeeze and a mix first
  • and we used a sesame white bun for the picture because we're whorish and don't care about syns any more

Courses fakeaway

Cuisine burgers

You know, rather than endless links, let’s bring the buttons back for a bit! Click and be whisked to a list of recipes for each category. Well I say whisk, but not with those cankles, eh? Enjoy your Chicago Stack!

poultrysmallbeefsmallporksmalllambsmallfakeawayssmall

J

housekeeping: all the stuff we think you should know

Now, saying as we can’t post recipes due to being unable to cook, I thought this would be a good opportunity to do some house-keeping! If you’re new to the blog, you might not know some of the things we have hidden away!

Meat

FOR ONE WEEK ONLY: Some good news to make up for the inconvenience of the lack of recipes (but if we can’t cook, you can’t eat!). You may know or not that we have an excellent deal with Musclefood – our freezer filler deal. It’s a delivered chilled box of wonder – with 24/26 big fat chicken breasts, 800g of extra lean beef chunks, 2kg of extra lean beef mince and lots and lots of bacon. It’s usually £50 – which is cheap when compared to what you’d pay in the shop – but we’ve knocked off 10% for ONE WEEK ONLY. This brings it down to £45 – the cheapest it has ever been. Remember you can choose the date of delivery and payment doesn’t come out until your chosen date, so you can order in advance. To order, just click this link, add to basket, add the code TCCFREEZER and choose standard delivery – £45! Easy! But this is for ONE WEEK ONLY.

We also have a smaller deal with added steak and sausages right here!

Recipes

ALL of our recipes can be found in one place, separated into handy categories with all the syn values clearly indicated. If you’ve got an ingredient, just visit the page and have a look – I bet we’ve done a recipe for it. The page with all the recipes on can be found right here!

Slimming World FAQ

Back when we first started the blog we knocked out what I still believe is one of our best articles – a guide to all those Slimming World questions that you might have floating about. It’s funny and still gets lovely comments – if you haven’t read it, give it a go by clicking here. I promise it’ll make you laugh.

Books

We get asked a lot if we could release a cookbook – and sadly, the answer is no. Fair enough, Slimming World won’t allow third party to publish in their name and I don’t want Mags turning up in a mist of Richmond Blue and Burberry Brit to cut the brakes on the CubMobile. That’s why we make all of our recipes free on here!

However, we DO have two e-books out – one is a massive collection of all our (hopefully funny) articles from Year One of the blog and can be found here and the other is a month long recount of our honeymoon in Orlando which you can buy from here. If you don’t have a Kindle, don’t fret – most smartphones and tablets can download the free Kindle app and you’ll be on your way. If you’ve read us, please leave a review!

Social media

We have a few social media links:

  • our Facebook group – now listen, don’t join this if you’re going to be one of those mouth-breathers who hold up blurry shouts of Benefit bars and say ‘SINSPLS’ – we’re not that type of group. We welcome coarse folk with a sense of humour. The professionally offended can keep out! Slimming is much easier when you can chuckle your way through it. We do NOT bother with drama though!
  • our Facebook page – we aim to post an old recipe and a new recipe a day – that’s all we will ever put out, we don’t spam your wall – over 71,000 followers on there!
  • our Twitter feed – I’m not very good at putting pictures on here, but whenever we post a new recipe on the blog I’ll do a link on the Twitter feed, so it’s a nice way to get regular updates!

Of course, you can subscribe to the blog to make sure you never miss a post – more details on that by clicking here.

Overnight oats

For reasons beyond me, we put all of our overnight oats recipes in one place – handy for you! You’ll find them here.

More about us

This page is next on the list to be updated, but if you’ve ever wanted to know more about the profane monsters behind the posts, you can find a few scant details right here – this was the first page we ever did. Aww. We weren’t jaundiced back then…

The boring legal bit

It’s important to stress:

  • we are not Slimming World consultants and whilst we do our best (via Slimming World’s online site) to check syns, ultimate responsibility is always up to you to double check if you’re not sure – but we’ve been doing this for years, we know the crack
  • we don’t mind people sharing our recipes in groups – that’s great – but please don’t be a cock about it – leave our credit/copyright on the photo and recipe because a lot of work goes into what we do
  • we swear a lot and we won’t be changing that – god knows why but we still get messages from folk telling us how to write our blog. Here’s the thing – the writing is why we do this, the tasty dinners are just a side of that, so we’ll change for no-one.

Finally

One thing left to say – a massive, massive thank you to you lot. I know we’re crap at approving comments but we read each one (and eventually approve them when we have time!) and are always touched by the wonderful, kind words that you take the time to leave. We have met some brilliant personalities through this blog and we still adore doing it – when we started out, we thought we’d give up after a few recipes, but here we are 300 posts later! Please let us know if we can do anything to help you further or what you think about our stuff.

Final thing, promise: please share and tell everyone you know about the site! If someone needs cheering up, send them here. If they’re fat and you’re worried about your furniture every time they visit, get them cooking our stuff. They’ll love it!

Thanks guys!

J (and Paul!)

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