COMPETITION: win two Slimming World books!

Remember me prattling on a month or so ago about a competition – that I’d hide several people in my food photos and when there were 10 or so, I’d launch a competition? Well, like I say to Paul when he’s been an especially good lad (made my tea, rubbed my feet, put the hoover away with the cord wrapped up properly), it’s time for you to enter. There are eleven (I counted!) faces hidden in various blog posts going back to the beginning of April – all you need to do is find them and submit their names using the form below. I’ve also asked that you join our Facebook page but the little gizmo below makes it easy! Please DON’T leave the answers in the comments below, or I’ll smack yer arse quicker than Mags herself would if she saw you mashing a banana.

Now listen – I’ve said this in the terms and conditions but I wanted to reiterate it here. I write this blog for two reasons – because I’m an incredibly vain person who loves nothing more than talking about himself and inserting coarse, crude sayings (see below) into otherwise vanilla text, and because I actually like to think that people out there who are trying to slim may find some inspiration in my recipes and waffle. We don’t do it for the money, thank god, and we don’t do it just so we can show off our various Le Creuset bits and bobs.

That’s a TOTAL LIE. I’ll bloody shoe-horn in my Le Creuset cookware everywhere I can. Listen, I’ve known the horror of trying to cook an omelette on a pan that’s stickier than the front of a trainspotter’s Y-fronts, let me have my moment in the sun. 

So, to that end, I’d be happier than a dog with two dicks if these little books went to a regular reader or someone who would get the benefit out of them. We used to enter competitions all the time – it’s great fun if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands. We had some great successes (I was particularly good at winning the caption contents) – we won a set of business class tickets anywhere around the world, an Xbox, £400…my favourite prize though was the horse shampoo. We don’t own a horse, and even if we did, I think I’d struggle getting the fucker into our shower. We also won a year’s worth of dishwasher tablets and a year’s supply of tampons. Not in the same competition I hasten to add, imagine getting those mixed up. You’d have a lemon-smelling fur burger and a bone-dry dishwasher.  Aaah.

Anyway, get entering! Tomorrow’s meal is a delicious sausage rigatoni.

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