OK so maybe not the easiest dinner in the world but red pesto pasta sure as hell beats ‘shit with sugar sandwiches’ that my mother, bless her blackened heart, used to threaten us with when we whinged on. Pfft, at least we would have got some fibre into our diet!
I’m pleased as punch writing this – I totally pulled at Pride on Saturday. Now you must know that Paul and I are terribly loyal to one another but we’re realists, there’s no harm in looking at the sweet-shop as long as you’re not unwrapping and swallowing. And, if you are, you enjoy your pic-n-mix together, see? But I asked some hurly-burly bear where he got his t-shirt (check me out, being social) and he responded with ‘oooooh, off yer bedroom floor love’.
I think, technically, that means we’re now betrothed and we’ll need to send Paul away with all of his clothing packed into a Lidl bag, walking out into the night back to Peterborough. Ah I jest. Listen, you can’t have James without Paul – it’s like French without Saunders, or Fred without Rose. It just doesn’t work.
Pride was great fun though, as it always is, though an entirely different beast to Northumberland Pride – lots more stalls, huge queues and lots more fetishwear. I dropped my wallet on the floor in front of the burger stand and had to be very cautious picking it up in case some leather-daddy took it upon himself to fist me like Winnie the Pooh reaching in for honey.
I love Pride events – so many happy people out to celebrate love. But by Christ, it makes you feel old. remember being teenage and full of literal and metaphorical spunk, having a whale of a time and being myself without stressing about labels and identity and gender. Happy times. Now I spend a good half of the time at Pride wondering where I can get a nice sit down because my feet hurt. I actually found myself wincing when we went into the music tent, although in our defence they were playing S Club 3. You’ve heard of them, yes? S Club 7 with all the talent removed. So, S Club 7.
No that’s mean, Don’t Stop Moving is a belting tune. Much better when The Beautiful South covered it in a blues style, though:
The day passed in a blur of trying not to buy stuff because we’re cheap, trying not to eat stuff because we’re on a diet and dealing with the super-awkward situation of being recognised by lovely folks who said hello and then had to immediately witness us stumbling over our words and blushing furiously. Admittedly, it’s not like anyone is camping out on our lawn, but it does happen more often than you think and when it does, it throws me off. Don’t let it stop you, though, if you ever see us out and about do come over and say hello: if you’re a fan of awkward conversation and slightly too long stares, you’ll get your fill with us!
Oh, and we also rescued a dog.
Again, maybe it speaks to my age or my obesity, but all I could think of was how hot he must be under there. Not his naked lithe body, no, that doesn’t do anything for me, but I was sweating like a glassblower’s arse and all I had on, as you can see, was a cheap H&M sailor shirt and half a shaved gorilla. I think I have more hair draped over my right nipple than Paul does on his entire body. He must have been absolutely dripping under all that PVC, and to make things worse, I saw him locked in a car in ASDA car-park later. Dogs die in hot cars, you know.
What else to report? Very little, I’m afraid: our evenings have been given over to stuffing envelopes and licking stamps and trying to think of 800 creative ways to draw knobs on envelopes when we’re sending out our twochubbycubs badges. The good news is that our badges are flying out so get your orders in and keep us in gin.
Dunno what she means…
I messed up a little bit by addressing a badge to a lady but calling her DILF-MASTER GENERAL, though. See, what was I saying about gender insensitivities? Right, shall we get to the red pesto pasta? It’s almost a cheek to call it a recipe, because honestly it’s just mixing a few things together, but sometimes you want something plain filling your hole, but still tasty. This red pesto pasta is exactly that! So enjoy.
red pesto pasta
Yield 4 servings
This recipe is ridiculously easy but doesn't 'alf pack a punch on the taste front. This should take you no more than 10 minutes and only uses one pan! What's not to love?!
- 500g linguine
- 6 tbsp red chilli pesto (9 syns)
- 90g ricotta (1x HeA)
- handful of fresh basil leaves
- 30g parmesan (1x HeA)
- cook the pasta according to the instructions but stop just short of fully done - you want it to have a bit of bite to it
- reserve half a mug of the pasta water
- drain the pasta and return to the pan
- lob in the pesto, ricotta, basil and parmesan and stir - dribble in a bit of the pasta water to loosen it if needed
- we used linguine (it's like a flat spaghetti) but honestly, any pasta will do
- if you can't find red chilli pesto just use normal red pesto and add half a teaspoon of chilli flakes
- you could use quark or Philadelphia instead of the ricotta if you like - but where's the fun in that?
- like our pan? It's Le Creuset - you can buy it here!
- this will take up only half a Healthy Extra A choice per person but if you prefer to use your syns instead it's only 5 each
- you can easily scale this recipe - just half or double it as needed - it'll still come out fine.
Courses lunch, dinner
How easy was that? Tell your friends.
Now if you want some more pasta lunch ideas, of course, we have loads, including:
- apple, mushroom and sage risotto (1.5 syns)
- creamy tequila chicken tagliatelle (less than 2 syns)
- spicy tuna bacon pasta (1.5 syns)
- best ever mixed chow mein (2 syns)
- spicy sausage rigatoni (1 syn)
- cheesy caramelised onion and bacon pasta bake (1 syn)
- cajun steak and cheese pasta (3 syns)
- macaroni cheese (1 syn)
- spicy cous cous balls with tzatziki (3 syns)
- chicken and chorizo risotto (4 syns)
- spinach and wild garlic pesto pasta (3 syns)
- beef and bacon stroganoff (4 syns)
- ooey gooey risotto cake (2.5 syns)
- chilli beefy macaroni cheese (3.5 syns)
- cheesy nacho mince ‘n’ rice (2.5 syns)