Rhubarb and ice-cream, if you don’t mind. But first, we have a competition to announce, but you’re going to have to be QUICK.
Too blurry for you? Judgemental cow. We want recipes! But – and this is important – you must provide two high-quality photos like the ones we use in the blog. Have a scroll through our blog and you can see what I mean. I don’t want a pile of cat-sick served on your best Matalan Le Gusset plates, I don’t want photos of your crotchfruit in the background and if it looks like something that might adorn a tablecloth in a church hall and be pawed at by women with more hair on their knuckles than I have on my arse-cheeks, that’ll also be a no. Aim for food that would be served with love, not endured with reservations.
A few simple guidelines:
- we don’t use Frylight or Quark, because we’re not insane and/or sponsored by Frylight – you can, but we will adapt your recipe accordingly;
- please don’t be afraid to use your syns – we will always favour proper food over ‘let’s race to zero syns’ nonsense;
- please have a cursory glance through our recipe page to see if we’ve already done it – you can find it here
- please don’t fret if you’re not a strong writer – that’s my job, I’ll tart you up!
Every published recipe gets a new entry. And let’s be honest, you love an easy entry!
We also want stories! You know how we write about 600 words before each recipe? Let’s hear your side of things. Everyone has a story and if there’s one thing I’ve learned since moderating a group consisting mainly of women, aged 30-49, medium prolapse (thank you facebook stats), is that you love to gab. So do it! If you’ve got something important to say, this is your chance. Write it under a false name. Send it to me in crayon, I don’t care. One thing though: as mentioned above, please don’t feel as though you need to be crass to be funny. It takes a certain lack of wit to force as many gay sex puns into a story as I do, trust me, and you’re better than that.
Submit your entries by emailing email@example.com – if you’re successful, and mind our bar for entries is low – you’ll be entered into a draw to win a box with £75 of stuff in it. It’ll be good stuff – nonsense, but good. The runner up prize will be £25 worth of something good from Amazon. Though let’s be honest, the main prize is the sheer thrill of knowing you’re making the world a better place.
Now, to sweeten the deal, here’s an incredibly easy dessert idea. It’s nothing flash, but nor are you, and we still love you.
rhubarb and ice-cream with ginger nuts
Yield 4 servings
Listen, are we even going to call this a recipe? Yes! Rhubarb and ice-cream with ginger nuts! People always want new ideas and this couldn't be simpler, and I like it because it's an interesting mix of textures, heat and tastes.
- 500g of rhubarb (2 syns when cooked, if you choose to syn it, which we don't)
- 400ml of Halo Top vanilla (12 syns)
- 4 ginger nuts (10 syns)
Split between four very large portions, this comes out at 5.5 syns, which is nothing for a good dessert!
- chop up your rhubarb, cook it with a tiny splash of water over a low heat until it has stewed - I like it sour, but feel free to put a few drops of honey in there (but don't forget you've got ice-cream going on top)
- plate it up - hot rhubarb, cold ice-cream, crushed ginger nuts
- we don't syn cooked fruit, because it's nonsense, but if you're following Slimming World to the point where you're worried Mags will scratch your car for not following the rules, syn your rhubarb at 0.5 syns for your portion
- no idea where we got our glasses from, but these are lovely!
Yum! Not fancying rhubarb and ice-cream with ginger nuts? Try these dessert ideas:
- fruit skewers (syn free)
- gin and tonic lollies (0.5 syns)
- strawberry jelly pots (0.5 syns)
- yoghurt bark (0.5 syns)
- chocolate cake filled pastel eggs (5 syns)
- cherry coke float (5.5 syns)
- chunky jaffa cakes (2 syns)
- chocolate and marshmallow pop tarts (3 syns)
- apple pie and ice-cream (5 syns)
- mint chocolate chip smoothie (1.5 syns)
- the chubby cheesecake (2 syns)
- raspberry and dark chocolate baked oats (3 syns)
- peppermint meringues (half a syn each)
- half-syn roulade (0.5 syns)
- tiramisu (1 or 5 syns)
- chocolate orange cheesecake (1 syn)
- superfree jelly (0.5 syns)
- chocolate mousse (4 syns)