Just a quick email to you all to draw your attention to our latest competition – this time to win an Instant Pot Vortex! If you’re on Instagram, simply click on the post below, follow the rules and be in with a chance to win.

It’s £99 worth of kit and it goes without saying but we bloody love Instant Pot – they’re perfect for if you’re trying to lose weight and/or save money, because the things they can do with a slab of cheap meat would make even you blush. The Vortex is their take on an air-fryer so you can do your chips and roasties in there, and of course there’s a whole load of recipes available online. You can take a look at their website right here!

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🌟🌟🌟 COMPETITION! COMPETITION! Win a BRAND NEW INSTANT POT VORTEX: a £99.99 air-fryer which bakes, roasts and air-fries AND looks snazzy! Scroll through to see! To win:⁠ ⁠ 1: make sure to like this post⁠ 2: make sure you follow @instantpotuk on Instagram⁠ 3: COMMENT BELOW with your best effort at turning a song title into a food pun! Two examples in the photos on here!⁠ ⁠ Optional: comment with a friend who deserves a chance to win and encourage them to do the same. You can always nick it from their kitchen if they win.⁠ ⁠ We will draw a random winner next week on Tuesday and contact by DM! UK entrants only please, we're not made of money!⁠ ⁠ #slimmingworldfood #spon #instantpotuk #vortex #competition #InstantPot #instantvortex #instantpotairfryer #airfryer #slimmingworldfamily #slimming #sw #drivedeterminationdinner⁠ #slimmingworld #slimmingworlder #slimmingworlduk #slimmingworldfood #swuk #swmafia #swinsta #slimmingworldlife #slimmingworldmotivation #slimmingworldinspiration #slimmingworldfollowers #weightloss #foodblogger⁠

A post shared by twochubbycubs (@twochubbycubs) on Oct 20, 2020 at 12:32pm PDT

We are trying to organise as many competitions as we can at the moment to try and give back a little – plus we can’t very well have an Instant Pot in our tiny little hotel room, we’ve barely got enough room to wrestle as it is. They already think we’re quarrelling as I have the beginnings of a black eye and naturally when asked about it I’ve taken to saying that Paul and I are fighting as I’ve taken another lover into the marital bed. In reality, I’ve got a sore eyelid, but that’s not quite as salacious now is it?

Good luck everyone!

Want some Instant Pot recipes? No bother cock – fill yer boots:

• pork and sweet potato chilli (syn free)
• instant pot spaghetti bolognese (syn free)
• lentil and vegetable soup (syn free)
• split pea and ham soup (syn free)
• slimming world sandwich fillings (1 syn or less)
• homemade pease pudding (0-0.5 syns)
• leek, potato and cheddar soup (less than 1 syn)
• lazy cabbage bowls (1 syn)
• lemon and garlic chicken (0.5 syns)
• spicy carrot and coconut soup (2 syns)
• sticky sesame chicken (2.5 syns)
• the best bbq pork sandwiches you’ll ever have (2 syns)
• chicken caesar wraps (3 syns)

J

Remember me prattling on a month or so ago about a competition – that I’d hide several people in my food photos and when there were 10 or so, I’d launch a competition? Well, like I say to Paul when he’s been an especially good lad (made my tea, rubbed my feet, put the hoover away with the cord wrapped up properly), it’s time for you to enter. There are eleven (I counted!) faces hidden in various blog posts going back to the beginning of April – all you need to do is find them and submit their names using the form below. I’ve also asked that you join our Facebook page but the little gizmo below makes it easy! Please DON’T leave the answers in the comments below, or I’ll smack yer arse quicker than Mags herself would if she saw you mashing a banana.

Now listen – I’ve said this in the terms and conditions but I wanted to reiterate it here. I write this blog for two reasons – because I’m an incredibly vain person who loves nothing more than talking about himself and inserting coarse, crude sayings (see below) into otherwise vanilla text, and because I actually like to think that people out there who are trying to slim may find some inspiration in my recipes and waffle. We don’t do it for the money, thank god, and we don’t do it just so we can show off our various Le Creuset bits and bobs.

That’s a TOTAL LIE. I’ll bloody shoe-horn in my Le Creuset cookware everywhere I can. Listen, I’ve known the horror of trying to cook an omelette on a pan that’s stickier than the front of a trainspotter’s Y-fronts, let me have my moment in the sun. 

So, to that end, I’d be happier than a dog with two dicks if these little books went to a regular reader or someone who would get the benefit out of them. We used to enter competitions all the time – it’s great fun if you’ve got a lot of time on your hands. We had some great successes (I was particularly good at winning the caption contents) – we won a set of business class tickets anywhere around the world, an Xbox, £400…my favourite prize though was the horse shampoo. We don’t own a horse, and even if we did, I think I’d struggle getting the fucker into our shower. We also won a year’s worth of dishwasher tablets and a year’s supply of tampons. Not in the same competition I hasten to add, imagine getting those mixed up. You’d have a lemon-smelling fur burger and a bone-dry dishwasher.  Aaah.

Anyway, get entering! Tomorrow’s meal is a delicious sausage rigatoni.

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