I was just going to launch straight into the recipe for lemon, garlic and oregano roast potatoes but I can’t see through my tears. See, I’ve long clung to the belief that Prince Henry Charles Albert David, or Prince Harry if you prefer, or Gingerbollocks as I bet the Queen calls him, was going to have a last-second crisis of identity before he got married. In my mind, he was sure to have a look at the albeit beautiful Meghan (I would never say this to her face, but she’s a wonderful person and a gifted artist), realise that he prefers cock and slightly middle-class Geordie men, dash into his armoured Mercedes and drive to Newcastle (avoiding the Tyne Tunnel, of course) to declare his love and demand I sit on his throne.
However, it wasn’t to be. The closest I got to receiving a royal hand last night was my own Queen, Paul, slumping forward during the ‘exploratory’ part of the mission after one too many gins.
I like the Royals. Not so keen on what they stand for, and I balked at the sight of homeless people having their sleeping bags taken away from them just so folks born into the greatest luxury in the land wouldn’t have their wedding photos ruined, but I do enjoy a bit of pomp and ceremony. I always imagine Camilla would be the best on a night out – she’d be the one ordering shit mixed drinks and telling everyone to fuck off and glassing the bouncers by the end of the night. She’s got that look in her eye that says ‘I’ll give you a gobble behind the bins but don’t spaff on my tiara‘, I think.
Perhaps it’s because I was never a huge fan of Diana. I know: blasphemy. Actually, no – that’s unfair, I have no real strong feelings about Diana, but her death was certainly the beginning of this awful ‘who can be the most upset’ competition that occurs whenever someone faintly famous dies or something horrendous happens in the world. Grief should be a private, personal emotion, not an excuse to whip out your Minions-quote-template and best UP WITH THE ANGLES line just because Gemma Collins bruised a nail tripping on the slip-mats in Lidl. I saw that sea of flowers pushed up against the walls of Buckingham Palace and all I could hope was that Liz had stocked up on Piriteze. All that pollen – I sympathise, if someone blows a dandelion clock in Sussex I’m laid up in bed for four weeks groaning and streaming snot from every hole I possess.
Anyway, look, this is all by the by. Harry didn’t come by in the end, and by all accounts it was a lovely, traditional wedding. I say traditional, it didn’t end with someone having too many Archers Aquas and vomiting in a plant-pot, so really, was it a wedding at all?
Oh! We did celebrate the Royal Wedding with a bit of light baking, see?
Fancy! I made ginger nuts (of course) by following our recipe here and rose-scented meringue bites by tweaking this exciting recipe made from chickpea pre-cum and I swear to God, that’s exactly what we used.
Oh and final point on the Royal Wedding – we were schlepping around Tesco yesterday buying BBQ bits and pieces when we overheard a very earnest, rah-de-rah mother saying to her chubby-checked wee child that ‘shall we dash home now so we can get a look at Meghan’s dress?’ to which the kid – a future in comedy awaits – completely deadpanned that she ‘really couldn’t care less‘. Good on you, child whose name will inevitability contain ‘Ella’.
OK, let’s do the recipe then. I was given a big bag of greek oregano by a friend from work and I need to tell you know, it smells amazing. The oregano, that is, not my friend, I couldn’t comment on his redolence. I did have to spend altogether more time than I anticipated smiling wanly at people spotting the bag of oregano on my desk and asking if it was drugs, ho-ho, slap my knees. I was that busy laughing hysterically that I barely had time for my 11am ket-bump in the bogs.
lemon, garlic and oregano roast potatoes
Yield 4 servings
How many times do you need a side for a BBQ and you find yourself opening a pack of coleslaw and crying because everything is so boring and you're sick of being fat and anyway, that miserable cow next door is already twitching her curtains and complaining about the smoke? Well, screw that, screw her and screw boring sides: our amazing lemon, garlic and oregano roast potatoes are a doddle to make, low in syn and taste bloody amazing.
Please: don't be tempted to skip the olive oil. It's worth it. You could use Frylight, yes, but why bother? Syns are there to be used for good food!
- about 900g of new potatoes, scrubbed a bit but not peeled, cut into smallish chunks
- two tablespoons of olive oil (see notes)
- four garlic cloves, minced (see notes)
- a couple of teaspoons of dried oregano
- a few grinds of salt
- a few grinds of black pepper
- 150ml of beef stock (or veggie stock if you're veggie, duh)
- 150ml of fresh lemon juice
- 2 tablespoons of fresh oregano - optional, dried is fine, but use a little less
- get the oven up to about 200 degrees, and find a good non-stick roasting dish
- pour the chopped potatoes in, together with the oil, minced garlic, salt, pepper (don't be shy), oregano and then pop the lid on and shake shake shake - really throw everything around to get it all coated
- bake in the oven for about twenty minutes, take out, add the stock, shake and back into the oven it goes for about fifteen minutes
- out it comes, add the lemon juice and again, shake it to buggery - then back into the oven for a good twenty minutes or so, until everything is cooked and most of the liquid has disappeared
- top with fresh oregano and serve
Use your common sense here - if it needs a bit longer, keep it in! But make sure it doesn't burn.
- this recipe idea comes from epicurious - and boy, did it work well!
- if you can find it, olive oil flavoured with lemon (sold in Tesco) or flavoured with garlic will really lift this dish
- don't bother peeling your garlic - just use a grater on it with the cloves still in their papers - use a good microplane grater to save time
- you don't need anything fancy to get the juice from your lemons - one of these reamers will do the job!
- when it comes to the lemon juice, use fresh lemons - microwave them for about ten seconds before cutting and juicing, you'll get loads more
- don't throw away the half lemons either - use them to scrub your BBQ after cooking
Courses sides, vegetarian
Looking for more BBQ ideas? Then please, let us help you out:
- bbq chicken wrap (syn free)
- tomato ketchup (syn free)
- the fat bastard burger (syn free)
- reuben burger (syn free)
- larb burger (syn free)
- chicken saltimbocca skewers (syn free)
- black bean and quinoa burger (syn free)
- falafel burger with tzatziki (syn free)
- super spring green soup (syn free)
- pork and apple burgers with blue cheese (syn free)
- veggie ploughman’s burger (syn free)
- chicken gyros (syn free)
- chicken cakes (0.5 syns)
Have a good weekend folks!